Maa-baap ki guide
Sadma aur uske baadKisi daraane wali ghatna ke baad aapka bachcha
Un maata-pita ki guide jinka bachcha kisi daraane wali ghatna se guzra hai aur tab se pehle jaisa nahi raha: shaant, sthir kadam jo use phir se surakshit mehsoos karne mein madad karte hain.
Tab se pehle jaisa nahi
Agar aapka bachcha kisi daraane wali ghatna se guzra hai aur tab se pehle jaisa nahi raha, to yeh aapka veham nahi hai. Doctor aise badlaavon ko kisi daraane wali ghatna par hone wali ek saamaanya pratikriya maante hain.
Shaayad woh koi sadak haadsa tha. Shaayad hinsa, aag, baadh, ya kisi qareebi ki achanak maut. Shaayad kisi ne aapke bachche ko chot pahunchaai. Tab se aapka bachcha badla-badla lagta hai, aur aapko samajh nahi aata ki us tak kaise pahunchein.
Bachche dar ko apne dhang se dikhaate hain. Bachche ka shareer aur uska bartaav aksar woh keh dete hain jo uske shabd nahi keh paate. Doctoron ke liye bani guidance kuch aam pratikriyaen batati hai.
- Raat mein: bure sapne aur sone mein pareshaani.
- Khel aur soch mein: us ghatna ko khel mein baar-baar dohraana, aur pareshaan karne wali yaadein jo achanak mann mein aa jaati hain.
- Din mein: yaad dilaane wali cheezon se kataraana, bartaav ka zyaada mushkil ho jaana, dhyaan lagaane mein dikkat, aur khatre ke liye chaukanna bane rehna.
Yahaan sachchi ummeed hai. Jo bachche kisi daraane wali ghatna se guzarte hain, unmein se zyaadatar mein lambe samay tak chalne wali tanaav ki pareshaani nahi banti. Yeh kitaab aapke bachche par koi label nahi lagayegi. Sirf ek doctor hi bata sakte hain ki aapke bachche ko visheshagya ki dekhbhaal ki zaroorat hai ya nahi. Yeh kitaab aapko jo dikh raha hai use samajhne mein madad karegi, aur aise tareekon se jawab dene mein jo sachmuch madad karte hain.
Sunita ka beta Kabir nau saal ka hai. Do maheene pehle, use school le ja rahe auto-rickshaw ko ek car ne takkar maar di. Kisi ko gambhir chot nahi aayi. Par tab se Kabir ek bhi raat poori neend nahi soya. Woh bure sapnon se jaag jaata hai aur maa ke bistar mein aa jaata hai. Woh school van mein baithne ko taiyaar nahi hota. Ghar par woh apni khilauna gaadiyon ko baar-baar aapas mein takraata hai. Uski daadi kehti hain ki woh bigad raha hai aur uske saath sakhti karni chahiye. Sunita ko itna yaqeen nahi hai.
Uska yeh sochna theek hai. Kabir shararat nahi kar raha. Uske bure sapne, van se uska dar aur gaadiyaan takraane wale uske khel, ye sab ek dare hue bachche ki nishaaniyaan hain. Jis baat ne daraaya, use khel mein baar-baar dohraana bachchon mein ek aam pratikriya hai.
Teen din tak bas dekhiye aur likhte jaaiye. Aapka bachcha kab sabse zyaada pareshaan hota hai, aur usse theek pehle kya hua tha? Woh kab shaant aur sahaj rehta hai? Aap abhi kuch theek nahi kar rahe. Aap yeh seekh rahe hain ki dar kis baat se bhadakta hai.
Dara hua alarm, bura bartaav nahi
Kisi daraane wali ghatna ke baad, bachche ke andar ka alarm chaalu hi reh sakta hai, jaise khatra ab bhi yahin ho. Yeh ek saamaanya pratikriya hai. Yeh na shararat hai, na kamzori, aur na galat parvarish.
Sochiye ki aapke bachche ke andar ek alarm hai, jo use surakshit rakhne ke liye hai. Daraane wale pal mein yeh zor se bajta hai. Khatra tal jaane ke baad bhi kuch bachche khatre ke liye chaukanne bane rehte hain, jaise alarm chaalu hi atak gaya ho. Isliye darwaaza zor se band hone par ve chaunk sakte hain. Oonchi aawaz se dar laut sakta hai.
Isliye jab gussa, chipke rehna ya bure sapne aayein, to pehle dar ke baare mein sochiye. Ye dar ki nishaaniyaan hain, bure bachche ki nahi. Tokne se pehle tasalli dijiye.
Yeh aapki galti bhi nahi hai. Agar kisi ne aapke bachche ko chot pahunchaai hai, to dosh usi insaan ka hai jisne yeh kiya. Yeh dosh na aapke bachche ka hai, aur na aapka.
Jis din maine uske nakhron ko dar ki tarah dekha, badtameezi ki tarah nahi, usi din maine usse ladna chhoda aur use seene se lagaana shuru kiya.
Sunita, 9 saal ke Kabir ki maa
Hamare kai gharon mein salaah jhat se milti hai. Iske baare mein baat mat karo. Bachche bhool jaate hain. Sakhti karo, woh theek ho jaayega. Ismein se kuch baatein pyaar se aati hain. Par akeli chuppi aur sakhti ek dare hue bachche ko uske dar ke saath akela chhod sakti hai.
Har bachche ko turant ilaaj ki zaroorat nahi hoti. Pehle maheene mein doctor dhyaan se nazar rakhne ki salaah de sakte hain, jismein usi maheene ke andar ek tay jaanch-mulaqat ho. Jo bachche lagaataar joojhte rehte hain, unhein visheshagya ki madad chahiye. Is kitaab ka aakhri hissa batata hai ki kab.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Kuch bachchon ko kisi doosre insaan ne jaan-boojhkar chot pahunchaai hoti hai, jaise hinsa ya shoshan mein. Ek badi sameeksha mein aise bachchon mein lambe samay tak chalne wali tanaav ki pareshaani ka khatra zyaada tha, aur ladkiyon mein bhi. Ismein se kuch bhi aapke bachche ke baare mein koi faisla nahi hai. Yeh bas batata hai ki kis par zyaada dhyaan se nazar rakhni hai aur kise jaldi madad chahiye.
Agli baar jab aapka bachcha bhadak uthe ya aapse chipak jaaye, to mann mein kahiye: yeh dar hai, zid nahi. Apne kandhe dheele chhodiye. Aapka shaant rehna ek achcha pehla kadam hai.
Shaant, sthir aur paas
Ghar par achchi madad aasaan hai. Shaant rahiye, har din ko ek jaisa rakhiye taaki bachche ko pehle se pata rahe, jab bachcha baat karna chahe to suniye, aur use woh ghatna sunaane ke liye kabhi majboor mat kijiye.
Ek dare hue bachche ko phir se surakshit mehsoos karne ki zaroorat hoti hai, baar-baar, chhote-chhote tareekon se. Aapko ek badi baatcheet ki zaroorat nahi. Aapko kai aam pal chahiye jo kahein: ab tum surakshit ho, aur main yahaan hoon. Suraksha ka ehsaas baar-baar dilaaiye, chhote, rozmarra ke tareekon se.
- Pehle khud ko sambhaaliye, taaki aapka bachcha aapki shaanti udhaar le sake.
- Khaana, school aur sone ka waqt har din ek hi samay par rakhiye.
- Jab woh baat karna chahe to suniye, par ghatna sunaane ke liye kabhi zor mat daaliye.
- Bhaavna ko naam dijiye, aur saaf kahiye ki ab woh surakshit hai.
Apne shabd chhote, sachche aur shaant rakhiye. Aap keh sakte hain, "Woh bahut daraane wala tha. Ab tum surakshit ho. Main yahaan hoon." Ya, "Aisi kisi baat ke baad bahut se bachche zara-zara si baat par chaunkne lagte hain. Hum milkar isse nikal jaayenge." Agar aapka bachcha sawaal pooche, to uski samajh ke hisaab se aasaan aur sachche jawab dijiye.
Utna hi zaroori hai yeh jaanna ki kya nahi karna hai. Apne bachche se woh ghatna baar-baar mat sunvaaiye, na apne saamne, na rishtedaaron ke saamne. Jo doctor shoshan jhel chuke bachchon ki dekhbhaal karte hain, unse kaha jaata hai ki bachche se woh baat jitni kam baar ho sake, utni hi baar dohrvaayein, kyunki isse bachche ko phir se chot pahunch sakti hai. Baareekiyon ke liye zor mat daaliye, aur jo hua uske baare mein sawaalon ki jhadi mat lagaaiye. Pehal use karne dijiye. Kuch bachche drawing, likhne ya khilaunon ke zariye dikhaate hain ki kya hua, aur yeh theek hai.
Ek aur kadam madad kar sakta hai: roz ka dharra. Koshish kijiye ki khaana, school, khel aur sone ka waqt niyamit rahe, taaki har din jaana-pehchaana lage. Kisi bhi badlaav se pehle thoda pehle bata dijiye. Vida chhoti aur pyaar bhari rakhiye, aur jab lautne ko kaha ho, tab zaroor lautiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Class teacher ko thode mein bata dijiye ki aapka bachcha kisi kathin daur se guzra hai. Aapko baareekiyaan bataane ki zaroorat nahi. Teacher se kahiye ki mood, din mein oonghne ya numberon mein koi badlaav dikhe to aapko bataayein. Apne bachche ko dheere-dheere school ke aam din mein waapas lautne mein madad kijiye. Agar kuch hafton baad bhi aapka bachcha school bilkul nahi sambhaal pa raha, to yeh doctor se baat karne ka ishaara hai.
Yaad rakhiye
Aapke bachche ko aapse ekdum sahi shabdon ki zaroorat nahi hai. Use aapka shaant chehra, aapki sthir aawaz, aur kal jaisa hi sone ka waqt chahiye. Chhota aur sthir kaafi hai.
Din ka koi ek hissa chuniye jo mushkil ho gaya hai, maan lijiye sone ka waqt. Is hafte use har raat ek jaisa rakhiye: wohi samay, wohi kadam, wohi goodnight wale shabd. Phir dekhiye ki kya woh thoda aasaan hota hai.
Sabse pehle suraksha
Agar nuksaan kisi insaan se hua hai, to pehla kaam hai apne bachche ko usse surakshit rakhna. Bina faisla sunaaye suniye, use bataiye ki yeh uski galti nahi hai, aur un logon se madad lijiye jinhein bachchon ki hifaazat ki training mili hai.
Kuch bachchon ko koi doosra insaan chot pahunchaata hai. Woh koi ajnabi ho sakta hai, ya koi aisa jise parivaar jaanta hai aur jis par bharosa karta hai. Isse yaqeen karna mushkil ho sakta hai, aur kuch karna bhi. Agar aapka bachcha aapko bataaye ki kisi ne use chot pahunchaai hai, to ise gambhirta se lijiye, aur use us insaan se door rakhiye.
Apne bachche ke saamne shaant rahiye, chahe andar se aap sadme ya gusse se bhare hon. Aap keh sakte hain, "Mujhe bataane ke liye shukriya. Tumne sahi kiya. Yeh tumhari galti nahi hai. Tumhari hifaazat meri zimmedaari hai." Har baareeki mat poochiye. Training paaye log jo poochna zaroori hoga, sahi tareeke se poochenge. Unhein aapko yeh bhi bataana chahiye ki aane wale hafton mein kin badlaavon par nazar rakhni hai, aur kab aur madad leni hai.
Rekha ki beti Anjali baarah saal ki hai. Ek shaam Anjali ne apni maa ko bataya ki jab bade aas-paas nahi hote the, tab ek rishtedaar ke haathon use chot pahunch rahi thi. Rekha ka pehla khayaal tha ki yeh sach nahi ho sakta. Parivaar ke kuch badon ne kaha ki parivaar ki izzat ke liye ise daba do. Rekha ne apni beti par yaqeen karna chuna. Usne us rishtedaar ko ghar se door rakha. Phir usne Child Helpline, 1098, par phone kiya, aur wahaan ke logon ne aage ke kadamon mein use raasta dikhaaya.
Kaanoon kya kehta hai, aasaan shabdon mein yeh hai. Bharat mein POCSO kaanoon 18 saal se kam umar ke bachchon ko yaun shoshan se bachaata hai. Jis kisi ko bhi pata ho ki kisi bachche ka yaun shoshan hua hai, ya jise dar ho ki aisa hone ki aashanka hai, use police ko bataana hi hoga. Yeh ek zimmedaari hai, koi ehsaan nahi, aur yeh har kisi par laagu hoti hai, doctoron, teacheron aur parivaar par bhi. Jo insaan imaandaari se police ko batata hai, us par aisa karne ke liye na muqadma kiya ja sakta hai, na koi aarop lagaaya ja sakta hai. Kaanoon bachche ki nijta ki bhi raksha karta hai: media bachche ka naam ya usse judi jaankari nahi chhaap sakta, aur police aur adaalat ko bachche ki pehchaan surakshit rakhni hi hogi.
Child Helpline, 1098, muft hai aur din-raat khuli rehti hai, mushkil haalaat mein phanse kisi bhi bachche ke liye. Emergency mein aap 112 par bhi phone kar sakte hain. Yeh helpline bachche ko ilaaj, rehne ki surakshit jagah, kaanooni madad aur mann ke sahaare se jod sakti hai. Yeh kitaab kaanooni salaah nahi de sakti. Helpline, police ya koi vakeel har kadam samjha sakte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Bahut se parivaar is baat se darte hain ki log kya baatein banaayenge. Log kya kahenge. Chup rehna parivaar ko bachaane jaisa lag sakta hai. Par chuppi aapke bachche ko bina hifaazat ke chhod sakti hai. Bolna hi woh tareeka hai jisse aap apne bachche ki hifaazat karte hain. Isse aapke bachche ko yeh bhi pata chalta hai ki aap uski taraf hain.
Aaj hi 1098 apne phone mein save kar lijiye, apne bachche ke doctor ke number ke paas. Agar kabhi zaroorat pade, to ghabraahat mein aapko ise dhoondhna nahi padega.
Aapka apna dar bhi maayne rakhta hai
Jab aapke bachche ko chot pahunchti hai, to chot aapko bhi pahunchti hai. Aapka sadma, apraadh-bodh aur dar asli hain, aur ho sakta hai aapko bhi apne liye sahaare ki zaroorat ho. Apna khyaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai. Yeh aapke bachche ki madad ka hi hissa hai.
Bachche ke saath hui kisi daraane wali ghatna ke baad maata-pita ki apni bhi pratikriyaen ho sakti hain. Ho sakta hai aap raat mein use baar-baar mann mein dohraayein. Aap khud ko zara-zara si baat par chaunkta hua, gusse mein ya sunn mehsoos kar sakte hain. Ho sakta hai aap khud bhi wahaan rahe hon, usi haadse mein ya usi baadh mein. Aapki apni dekhbhaal aapke bachche ki dekhbhaal ka hissa hai.
Aapko apraadh-bodh ho sakta hai, khaaskar shoshan ke baad. Maine yeh kyun nahi dekha? Maine us insaan par bharosa kyun kiya? Yeh baat saaf-saaf sun lijiye. Yeh aapki wajah se nahi hua. Aap ise mita nahi sakte. Par aap madad kar sakte hain.
Sanyukt parivaar mein dabaav badhta ja sakta hai. Ek rishtedaar kehta hai bhool jaao. Doosra aapko dosh deta hai. Teesra chahta hai ki sab daba diya jaaye. Aapko har behes nahi jeetni hai. Ek chhoti, sthir baat kaam aati hai: "Hum doctor ki salaah par chal rahe hain, aur hum use surakshit rakh rahe hain."
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek aisa insaan dhoondhiye jo aapke saath ho: aapka jeevansaathi, behen, koi dost, koi counsellor. Mushkil baat kisi aise ke saamne zor se kahiye jo faisla na sunaaye. Agar hafton tak aapki apni neend, mood ya gussa buri tarah hile rahein, to apne liye bhi doctor se miliye. Aapki madad aapke bachche ki madad hai.
Aapke saath
Un raaton mein jab aap jaagte hue sab kuch baar-baar sochte rehte hain, yeh sun lijiye: jo maata ya pita apne bachche ki madad ke liye poori kitaab padh rahe hain, ve naakam nahi ho rahe. Aap apne bachche aur dar ke beech khade hain. Ek maata ya pita ki jagah theek wahin hai.
Aaj raat apne shareer ke liye ek chhota kaam kijiye: dheemi sair, jaldi so jaana, ya shaanti mein ek cup chai. Kal bhi yehi kijiye. Zyaada sambhle hue aap bhi aapke bachche ke theek hone ka hissa hain.
Jab visheshagya ki madad chahiye
Agar badlaav lagbhag ek maheene se zyaada chalein, to doctor se milne ka waqt hai. Agar haalaat bigad rahe hon, to aur jaldi jaaiye. Ilaaj ki guidelines jis mukhya ilaaj ki salaah deti hain, woh sadme par kendrit ek baatcheet wali therapy hai.
Pehle kuch hafton mein dekhte rahiye ki cheezein kaisi chal rahi hain. Phir agar inmein se koi bhi baat sach ho, to doctor se miliye.
- Bure sapne, dar ya gussa lagbhag ek maheene se zyaada chalein.
- Cheezein dheere-dheere behtar hone ke bajaaye bigad rahi hon.
- Aapka bachcha theek se school na ja pa raha ho, so na pa raha ho, ya kha na pa raha ho.
- Aapke bachche ka shoshan hua ho, ya woh ab bhi surakshit mehsoos na karta ho.
7 se 17 saal ke jo bachche lagaataar joojhte rehte hain, unke liye guidelines ek baatcheet wali therapy ki salaah deti hain, jise trauma-focused CBT (sadme par kendrit CBT) kehte hain. 5 aur 6 saal ke bachchon ke liye ve kehti hain ki is par vichaar kiya jaaye. Ek training paaye therapist aapke bachche ko dar ki pratikriyaon ke baare mein, aur shareer ko shaant karne ke tareekon ke baare mein sikhaate hain. Phir therapist aapke bachche ko us yaad se dheere-dheere guzarne mein, aur yaad dilaane wali cheezon se kataraana chhodne mein madad karte hain. Jahaan bachche ke liye theek ho, wahaan maata-pita bhi hissa lete hain. Therapy ko aapke bachche ki umar aur uske vikaas ke padaav ke hisaab se dhaala jaata hai.
Aur dawa ka kya? Bachchon aur kishoron mein, sadme ke baad ki in pratikriyaon ke liye dawa aam ilaaj nahi hai. Pehle baatcheet wali therapy aati hai. Agar aapke bachche ka mann bhi bahut zyaada udaas rehta ho ya koi aur pareshaani ho, to doctor aapke saath milkar vikalpon ko dhyaan se taulenge.
Yaad rakhiye
Ek achche doctor ya therapist poore bachche ko dekhte hain: neend, school, dost, mann ka haal aur parivaar. Ve aapke bachche ko taiyaar hone se pehle us ghatna ko phir se jeene par majboor nahi karenge. Har faisle mein aap shaamil rehte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Pehli mulaqat se pehle aapke paas har jawab hona zaroori nahi. Aapne jo dekha hai, wohi lekar jaaiye: dar kab sabse zyaada hota hai, use kya bhadkaata hai, aur kis cheez se thodi madad hoti hai. 7 se 17 saal ke kuch bachchon ke liye doctor ek aur therapy par vichaar kar sakte hain, jise EMDR kehte hain. Aisa sirf tab hota hai jab ghatna ko 3 maheene se zyaada ho chuke hon, aur trauma-focused CBT se madad na mili ho ya aapka bachcha usmein hissa na le paaya ho. Jaldi madad maangna zaroorat se zyaada ghabraana nahi hai. Yeh achchi parvarish hai.
Kuch nishaaniyon ka matlab hai abhi kadam uthaana, baad mein nahi. Yahaan apne mann ki aawaz par bharosa kijiye. Aisi madad le lena behtar hai jiski shaayad poori zaroorat na thi, bajaaye kisi aise pal ko chook jaane ke jo maayne rakhta tha.
Marne ya khud ko chot pahunchaane ki baat.
Jeena na chahne ki, ya khud ko chot pahunchaane ki koi bhi baat ho, to usi din madad chahiye.
Abhi surakshit nahi.
Agar chot pahunchaane wala insaan ab bhi aapke bachche tak pahunch sakta hai, to use door rakhne ke liye abhi kadam uthaaiye.
Na khaana, na neend.
Kai dinon tak khaana, paani ya neend na ho, to jaldi doctor chahiye.
Baat us tak nahi pahunchti.
Agar aapka bachcha yaad mein khoya-sa lage aur koi cheez use shaant na kar paaye, to madad lijiye.
Agar aapko lage ki aapka bachcha abhi isi waqt khatre mein hai, to intezaar mat kijiye. 112 par phone kijiye, ya sabse paas ke aspataal ki emergency mein jaaiye. Uske saath rahiye, aur aisi cheezon tak uski pahunch kam kijiye jinse woh khud ko chot pahuncha sakta hai. Tele-MANAS, 14416, mann ki sehat ke liye sarkaar ki muft helpline hai, jo din-raat khuli rehti hai. Agar aapko chinta hai, to apne bachche se narmi se aur seedhe poochiye ki kya uske mann mein khud ko chot pahunchaane ke khayaal aate hain. Kishoron aur badon par hue adhyayanon ki ek sameeksha mein, aatmahatya ke khayaalon ke baare mein poochne se ve khayaal badhe nahi. Madad maujood hai, aur aapko iska saamna akele nahi karna hai.
Jo bachcha aaj dara hua hai, woh ek sthir maata-pita aur sahi madad ke saath, duniya mein phir se surakshit mehsoos kar sakta hai.
Ve do ya teen badlaav likhiye jo aapko sabse zyaada chinta mein daalte hain, har ek ke saath ek sachcha udaaharan. Yeh list apne phone mein rakhiye, 1098 aur Tele-MANAS, 14416, ke paas. Iske taiyaar hone se pehla phone, aur pehli mulaqat, kahin aasaan ho jaate hain.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.