Maa-baap ki guide
Anokhe anubhavAapka bachcha aur anokhe anubhav
Un maa-baap ki guide jinka kishor ya naujawan bachcha woh sunne, dekhne ya maanne laga hai jo doosre nahi: shaant, shuruaati kadam jo bahas se kahin zyaada madad karte hain.
Kuch badal gaya hai, aur aap ise mehsoos kar rahe hain
Agar aapka kishor ya naujawan bachcha aisi baatein sunne, dekhne ya maanne laga hai jo doosre na sunte hain, na dekhte hain, na maante hain, to yeh badlaav aapke mann ka khayaal bhar nahi hai. Yeh aapki wajah se nahi hua. Madad jaldi shuru ho to behtar kaam kar sakti hai, aur uski shuruaat aap karwa sakte hain.
Yeh shayad dheere-dheere hua ho. Aapke bete ne raat ko sona chhod diya hai. Woh apna darwaza band rakhta hai, aur jab aaspaas koi nahi hota, tab dheemi aawaaz mein baatein karta hai. Ya aapki beti ko pakka yakeen ho gaya hai ki college mein log us par nazar rakh rahe hain. Woh baar-baar khidkiyaan dekhti hai aur apna phone chhooti tak nahi. Aap baat karne ki koshish karte hain, aur baat jhagde mein badal jaati hai, ya chuppi mein.
Kuch naujawanon ko aisi cheezein sunaai ya dikhaai dene lagti hain jo doosron ko nahi detin. Kuch ke mann mein koi aisa pakka yakeen baith jaata hai jise aur koi nahi maanta, aur jise koi baat hila nahi paati. Unke liye ye anubhav bilkul asli lag sakte hain. Badlaav ko jaldi bhaanp lena un sabse kaam ki cheezon mein se ek hai jo maa-baap kar sakte hain.
Aise anubhavon ke liye doctori naam jo aap sun sakte hain, woh hai psychosis, ya pehla episode. Aapke bachche par yeh laagu hota hai ya nahi, yeh sirf ek doctor hi bata sakte hain. Yeh kitaab aapko is badlaav ko samajhne aur iska achche se jawab dene mein madad karegi.
Sunita ka beta Rohan 19 saal ka hai aur college ke pehle saal mein hai. Woh hamesha se ek shaant, nek ladka raha hai jise cricket bahut pasand tha. Teen maheenon mein usne class jaana chhod diya. Woh din bhar sota hai aur raat ko kamre mein chakkar lagaata rehta hai. Usne maa se kaha ki padosiyon ne uski baatein sunne ke liye uske phone mein kuch daal diya hai. Uske pita kehte hain ki woh bas aalsi hai. Uski daadi use kisi baba ke paas le jaana chahti hain. Sunita raat bhar jaagkar sochti hai ki usse kahaan galti hui. Usne ghar ke baahar kisi ko kuch nahi bataaya hai.
Sunita ne koi galti nahi ki. Woh jo dekh rahi hai, uska ek pattern hai: neend ud jaana, sabse katte jaana, dar, aur ek aisa yakeen jo tas se mas nahi hota. Yeh pattern jald doctor ko dikhaane ki wajah hai, sharm ki wajah nahi. Kuch parivaar pehle pooja-paath, dua ya kisi baba ka sahara lete hain. Aap apni aastha banaaye rakhte hue bhi apne bachche ko doctor ke paas le ja sakte hain.
Agle kuch dinon tak bas dhyaan dijiye aur likhte jaaiye. Aapka bachcha kab sota hai? Woh kya batata hai ki use kya sunaai deta hai, kya dikhta hai, ya woh kya maanta hai? Woh kab shaant rehta hai? Abhi na bahas kijiye, na uski baat ko theek karne ki koshish. Likha hua ek chhota-sa byora doctor ke bahut kaam aata hai.
Ek naazuk mann, jis par bahut zyaada bojh hai
Ye anubhav bura bartaav, aalas, kamzor charitra ya koi baddua nahi hain. Ye sehat ki ek samasya hain jiski asli wajahein hoti hain, aapki parvarish par koi faisla nahi.
Ise ek aasaan tareeke se samajhiye. In anubhavon ki sambhaavna ka ek hissa viraasat mein milta hai, isliye kuch logon mein janm se hi inki gunjaaish zyaada hoti hai. Uske oopar, bhaari tanaav, udi hui neend, koi dardnaak ghatna, ya cannabis (ganja) jaise nashe, kuch logon mein inhein shuru kar sakte hain.
Is tasveer ke liye jo naam aap sun sakte hain, woh hai stress-vulnerability model (tanaav aur naazukpan ka model). Seedhe shabdon mein, aapka bachcha jis haal se guzar raha hai, woh hai bahut zyaada bojh tale daba ek naazuk mann, na uski apni marzi aur na koi saza.
Yeh aapki galti bhi nahi hai. Bahut se maa-baap chupchaap khud ko dosh dete hain ki woh bahut sakht the, bahut naram the, ya bahut vyast the. Par parivaaron par hui ek bahut badi study mein saamne aaya ki viraasat mein mili baaton ke muqaable, bachchon ka saajha ghar kahin chhoti bhoomika nibhaata hai. Aur koi bhi yeh nahi chunta ki woh apne bachchon ko kaun-se gene de. Teen seedhi sachchaaiyaan thaame rakhiye. Yeh aapki wajah se nahi hua. Aap ise akele theek nahi kar sakte. Par aap madad kar sakte hain, aur bahut zyaada.
Maine yeh poochna chhod diya ki mujhse kya galti hui. Main yeh poochne lagi ki aaj use mujhse kya chahiye.
Sunita, 19 saal ke Rohan ki maa
Isiliye daantne aur bahas karne se shayad hi kabhi madad milti hai. In anubhavon ki giraft mein phansa naujawan aksar yeh nahi dekh paata ki ye asli nahi hain, aur woh dara hua mehsoos kar sakta hai. Dabaav us dar ko aur badha sakta hai.
Humare bahut se gharon mein faisla jhat se suna diya jaata hai. Woh bigad gaya hai. Kisi ne kaala jaadu kar diya hai. Iski shaadi kara do, sambhal jaayega. Log kya kahenge? Ye baatein galat hain. Aapka bachcha parivaar ke liye sharm ki baat nahi hai. Woh ek naujawan hai jise sehat ki ek aisi samasya hai jismein madad se farak padta hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Hinsa ke dar ke baare mein ek baat, kyunki bahut se maa-baap ise chupchaap dhote hain. Filmein aksar aise anubhavon wale logon ko khatarnaak dikhaati hain. Asal mein, in anubhavon se guzar rahe logon mein hinsa kaafi kam hi hoti hai. Is baat ki sambhaavna zyaada hai ki doosre unhein chot pahunchaayein, bajaye iske ki woh kisi ko chot pahunchaayein. Agar aap kabhi khud ko asurakshit mehsoos karein, ya aapka bachcha kisi ko nuksaan pahunchaane ki baat kare, to turant madad lijiye, jaisa aakhri hissa batata hai. Par kisi thappe ka dar aapko madad lene se kabhi na roke.
Agli baar jab mann mein aaye ki "yeh humare saath aisa kar raha hai", to us khayaal ko badal dijiye. Sochiye, "Is waqt iske mann par bahut zyaada dabaav hai." Dhyaan dijiye ki kya aapki aawaaz naram padti hai. Shaant rehne wale maa ya baap apne aap mein madad ka hissa hain.
Bahas kiye bina baat karna
Jo yakeen kisi ko bilkul asli lagta hai, usse bahas karke use baahar nahi nikaala ja sakta. Aap maahaul ki garmi kam kar sakte hain, uske neeche chhipe dar ko sun sakte hain, aur apne bachche ki taraf khade reh sakte hain.
Jab aapka bachcha kehta hai ki padosi uski baatein sun rahe hain, to aapka poora mann use galat saabit karna chahta hai. Yeh swaabhaavik hai. Par bahas aksar jhagde par khatm hoti hai, aur aapka bachcha aapko baatein batana band kar sakta hai. Shodh mein, jo zyaadatar badon par hua hai, ghar mein bahut zyaada toka-taaki ya talkhi ka naata haalat ke zyaada baar dobaara bigadne se dekha gaya hai. Parivaar ke saath hone wala kaam parivaaron ko ise kam karne mein madad karta lagta hai. Yakeen se sahmat hue bina bhi aap us insaan ke saath khade reh sakte hain.
- Pehle apna paara neeche laaiye: dheemi aawaaz, baithkar baat, ek waqt mein ek hi insaan bole.
- Yakeen ke neeche chhipi bhaavna ko suniye, jo aksar dar hoti hai, aur use zor se naam dijiye.
- Yakeen se bahas mat kijiye, aur usse sahmat hone ka dikhaava bhi mat kijiye.
- Ek chhote, thos kadam par sahmat hoiye, jaise neend, khaana ya doctor se milna.
Yeh kuch aisa sunaai de sakta hai. "Yeh to sachmuch bahut daraawna lagta hai. Mujhe dikh raha hai ki tum kitne dare hue ho." Ya: "Mujhe yeh waisa nahi dikhta jaisa tumhein dikhta hai. Par mujhe yakeen hai ki tumhein yeh sach lagta hai, aur main tumhaare saath hoon." Phir dheere se us baat par aaiye jis par aap dono saath aa sakein. "Tum kai dinon se soye nahi ho. Kya pehle us par kaam karein?"
Jab tak aapke bachche ki tabiyat theek nahi hai, ghar ka maahaul seedha-saada rakhiye. Ek baar mein ek hi insaan bole. TV, shor aur mehmaanon ka aana-jaana kam rakhiye. Toka-taaki, mazaak udaane aur lambe bhaashanon se bachiye.
Do aur baatein bahut maayne rakhti hain: neend aur cannabis. Neend ki kami in anubhavon ko shuru karne wali ek wajah ho sakti hai. Apne bachche ko sone, jaagne aur khaane ka ek tay waqt banaaye rakhne mein madad kijiye. Jab neend bigadne lage, to doctor ko jaldi bataaiye.
Cannabis, jise ganja, charas, bhaang ya weed bhi kehte hain, uske baare mein saaf baat zaroori hai. Jo log ye anubhav shuru hone ke baad bhi ise lete rehte hain, unmein chhod dene waalon ke muqaable in anubhavon ke laut aane ki sambhaavna zyaada hoti hai. Sharab aur doosre nashe bhi haalat bigaad sakte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Cannabis ke baare mein bhi usi tarah baat kijiye jaise yakeen ke baare mein: shaant rehkar aur jaanne ki ichchha ke saath, hamle ki tarah nahi. Poochiye ki isse use kya milta hai. Kuch log inhi anubhavon se nipatne ke liye nasha karte hain. Doctor ko imaandaari se bataaiye, bhale hi ismein sharm mehsoos ho. Team aapke bachche ko ise kam karne ya chhodne mein, aur sone aur sambhalne ke doosre tareeke dhoondhne mein madad kar sakti hai.
Yaad rakhiye
Judaav pehle, sudhaar baad mein. Darwaza khula rakhiye, un dinon bhi jab baatcheet kahin pahunchti nahi lagti.
Is panne se ek vaakya chuniye aur akele mein use zor se boliye: "Mujhe dikh raha hai ki tum dare hue ho, aur main tumhaare saath hoon." Agli baar jab woh yakeen wali baat uthe, to ise istemaal kijiye.
Parivaar ke saath kaam madad karta hai
Parivaar samasya nahi hai. Parivaar ilaaj ka hissa hai. Aise session jinmein aapke bachche ke saath-saath parivaar ko bhi shaamil kiya jaata hai, kisi mushkil daur ke laut aane ki sambhaavna kam kar sakte hain.
Doctor aapko family intervention, ya family work, yaani parivaar ke saath hone wala kaam, sujha sakte hain. Teen maheene se ek saal tak, ek prashikshit visheshagya parivaar se milte hain, aur jahaan ho sake, aapke bachche ke saath. Aap in anubhavon ke baare mein, ilaaj ke baare mein, aur apne bachche ka saath dene ke tareekon ke baare mein seekhte hain. Aap rozmarra ki pareshaaniyon ko ek team ki tarah suljhaane ka abhyaas karte hain, yeh bhi ki agar koi mushkil daur laut aaye to kya karna hai. Studies, jo zyaadatar badon par hui hain, ishaara karti hain ki parivaar ke saath kaam se haalat ka dobaara bigadna aur aspataal mein bharti hona kam ho sakta hai. Naujawanon ke liye Britain ki guidance kehti hai ki har parivaar ko iska mauka diya jaana chahiye.
Ismein team ke ek saathi ki tarah jaaiye, katghare mein khade insaan ki tarah nahi. Ek achchi team parivaar ko dosh nahi deti. Woh aapko un logon ki tarah dekhte hain jo aapke bachche ko sabse achchi tarah jaante hain, aur jo kisi bhi mulaaqaat ke khatm hone ke bahut baad tak uske saath rahenge.
Jab team ne parivaar ke saath session ka sujhaav diya, to Rohan ke pita aana nahi chahte the. "Ise dawa ki zaroorat hai, humari nahi," unhone kaha. Phir bhi woh aaye. Teesre session tak unhone padosiyon wali baat par bahas karna chhod diya tha. Woh kehne lage, "Main sun raha hoon. Chalo, aaj raat tumhein thodi neend dilaate hain." Rohan phir se parivaar ke saath baithkar raat ka khaana khaane laga. Uski daadi ab bhi uske liye praarthna karti hain. Ab woh use uski appointment ki yaad bhi dilaati hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Agar aap sanyukt parivaar mein rehte hain, to team se poochiye ki kya daada-daadi, koi chacha ya maama, ya bada bhai ya behen kisi session mein aa sakte hain. Paanch alag-alag raay ke muqaable ek saajhi samajh kahin aasaan hai. Agar aapke aaspaas parivaar ke liye alag se koi program nahi hai, tab bhi psychiatrist se ek family meeting ke liye kahiye.
Ghar ke un logon ke naam likhiye jo aapke bachche ke sabse qareeb hain. Unmein se un ek-do par nishaan lagaaiye jo parivaar wale session mein aa sakte hain. Agli mulaaqaat par doctor se poochiye ki kya parivaar ke saath kaam ho sakta hai.
Aap bahut kuch dho rahe hain
In anubhavon se guzarte naujawan ki dekhbhaal karna mushkil hai, aur aap jo dar aur thakaan mehsoos karte hain, woh asli hain. Apna khyaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai. Yeh aapke bachche ki madad ka hi hissa hai.
Aapki jagah khade maa-baap tooti hui neend, lagaataar fikr, aur ek aisa dukh dhote hain jise naam dena mushkil hai. Ho sakta hai aap un sapnon ka dukh mana rahe hon jo aapne apne bachche ke liye dekhe the. Ho sakta hai aapko sharm mehsoos ho, aur phir us sharm ke liye apraadh-bodh. Inmein se kisi ka matlab yeh nahi ki aap kamzor hain. Maa-baap ko milne wala sahara dekhbhaal ka hi hissa hai, oopar se milne wali koi aish nahi. Britain ki guidance team se kehti hai ki sankat ke waqt maa-baap ko khud kis sahare ki zaroorat hai, is par bhi soche, aur agar bachcha aspataal mein bharti ho, to unhein sahara de.
Aapke apne shareer ko bhi buniyaadi cheezein chahiye. Khaaiye, jab mauka mile so lijiye, aur chhote-chhote break lijiye. Raat ki nigraani kisi aur ke saath baantiye. Aaraam kiye hue maa ya baap ke liye shaant rehna aasaan hota hai.
Sanyukt parivaar mein dabaav kai guna ho sakta hai. Aapke sasuraal waale ya rishtedaar aapki parvarish ko dosh de sakte hain. Kuch log ise chhupaana chah sakte hain. Doosre shaadi, kisi baba, ya zyaada sakhti par zor de sakte hain. Aapko har bahas jeetni zaroori nahi hai. Ek chhoti, tiki hui baat kaam aati hai: "Doctor humari madad kar rahe hain, aur hum ek plan par chal rahe hain."
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ghar ke doosre bachchon ko mat bhooliye. Bhai-behnon ki apni fikrein ho sakti hain. Kuch sachchi baatein madad karti hain: ki unke bhai ya behen ki tabiyat theek nahi hai, ki parivaar madad le raha hai, aur ki unse ab bhi utna hi pyaar hai. Apne liye bhi ek aisa insaan dhoondhiye jo poori tarah aapke saath ho, jeevansaathi, behen, koi dost. Jo hissa sabse mushkil hai, use kisi aise insaan ke saamne zor se keh dena jo aapke baare mein koi raay na banaaye, bojh halka kar deta hai.
Aapke saath
Jin raaton mein aap jaagkar qadmon ki aahat sunte rehte hain, un raaton mein yeh suniye. Jo maa ya baap apne bachche ko samajhne ke liye poori kitaab padh rahe hain, woh naakaam nahi hain. Aap apne bachche ke saath us daur mein khade hain jo kisi bhi parivaar ke saamne aane wale sabse kathin dauron mein se ek hai. Yahi pyaar hai, aur iski ahmiyat hai.
Is hafte ek kaam kisi aur ko saunp dijiye, chahe woh chhota-sa hi ho. Kisi rishtedaar se kahiye ki ek ghanta aapke bachche ke paas baithein, ya padosiyon ke sawaalon ko sambhaal lein. Phir woh ghanta apne liye istemaal kijiye, bina kisi apraadh-bodh ke.
Jaldi madad, aur jab intezaar nahi ho sakta
Haalat aur bigadne ka intezaar mat kijiye. Jo madad jaldi shuru hoti hai, woh behtar kaam kar sakti hai. Agar aapka bachcha khud ko ya kisi aur ko nuksaan pahunchaane ki baat kare, to aaj hi turant madad lijiye.
Ilaaj mein aam taur par kai hisse ek saath kaam karte hain. Inmein aisi dawaayein ho sakti hain jo mann ki sehat ke doctor (psychiatrist) sujha sakte hain, in anubhavon ke liye hi bani ek baatcheet wali therapy, parivaar ke saath kaam, aur college ya kaam par lautne mein madad. Kuch deshon mein, shuruaati madad ki ek team, jise early intervention service kehte hain, in sab hisson ko ek saath laati hai.
Jaldi haath badhaana maayne rakhta hai: Britain ki guidance kehti hai ki in anubhavon se guzar rahe naujawan ko bina der kiye kisi visheshagya se milna chahiye. Jahaan aapke aaspaas aisi koi team nahi hai, wahaan bhi ek psychiatrist in hisson ko saath la sakte hain. Madad maangna apne bachche se haar maan lena nahi hai. Yeh uska theek ulta hai.
Dawaon ka kya? Pehle episode mein ye aam taur par plan ka ek hissa hoti hain, jo baatcheet wali therapy aur parivaar ke saath kaam ke saath-saath chalti hain. Inhein koi visheshagya shuru karein, ya visheshagya ki salaah par shuru ki jaayein, bina parche ke dukaan se khareedkar nahi. Kisi bhi dawa ki tarah, inke bhi side effect ho sakte hain, jaise wazan badhna, susti ya neend-si aana, ya kaampna. Ek achche doctor inke baare mein samjhaate hain, in par nazar rakhte hain, aur aapke saath milkar plan badalte hain.
Yaad rakhiye
Ye dawaayein apne aap shuru mat kijiye, band mat kijiye, aur na inmein koi badlaav kijiye, tab bhi nahi jab aapka bachcha behtar lagne lage. Kisi mushkil daur ke baad pehle ek-do saal mein inhein band karne se in anubhavon ke laut aane ka khatra kaafi zyaada hota hai. Koi bhi badlaav doctor ke saath milkar tay hota hai aur dheere-dheere kiya jaata hai. Faisla saath milkar hota hai, aur aap aur aapka bachcha har faisle ka hissa bane rehte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Pehli mulaaqaat se pehle aapke paas har sawaal ka jawab hona zaroori nahi hai. Apne notes saath le jaaiye: neend, aapka bachcha kya kehta hai, kya-kya badla hai, aur cannabis ya sharab ka koi bhi istemaal. Agar aapka bachcha aane ko taiyaar na ho, to pehle aap khud jaaiye. Doctor tab bhi agle kadam par aapko raah dikha sakte hain.
Zyaadatar dinon mein aapka kaam hai, paas bane rehna aur doctor ke sampark mein rehna. Par in anubhavon se guzar rahe logon mein khud ko nuksaan pahunchaane aur aatmahatya ka khatra ausat se zyaada hota hai. Agar aapko neeche diye ishaare dikhein, ya aapko lage ki aapka bachcha khatre mein ho sakta hai, to turant madad lijiye. Aisi madad maang lena kahin behtar hai jiski shayad zaroorat na thi, bajaye iske ki woh pal chhoot jaaye jo maayne rakhta tha.
Marne ya khud ko nuksaan pahunchaane ki baat.
Apni zindagi khatm karne ki, ya khud ko chot pahunchaane ki koi bhi baat ho, to abhi madad chahiye.
Nuksaan ke liye uksaati aawaazein.
Agar aawaazein unse kahein ki khud ko ya kisi aur ko chot pahunchaao, to intezaar mat kijiye.
Kisi daraawne yakeen par amal karna.
Kisi yakeen ki wajah se ghar se bhaag jaana, khaana-paani bilkul chhod dena, ya kuch khatarnaak kar baithna.
Kai din bina neend, ya achaanak uljhan.
Kai raatein bilkul neend na aana, ya yeh pata na hona ki woh kahaan hain.
Agar aapko aatmahatya ki fikr ho, to seedhe aur shaanti se poochiye: "Kya tumhaare mann mein apni zindagi khatm karne ke khayaal aa rahe hain?" Poochne se yeh khayaal uske mann mein nahi baith jaata. Apne bachche ke saath rahiye aur aawaaz dheemi rakhiye. Jin cheezon se woh khud ko chot pahuncha sakta hai, un tak uski pahunch kam kijiye. Fauri khatre mein 112 par call kijiye ya nazdeeki aspataal ki emergency mein jaaiye. Kisi bhi waqt sahare aur salaah ke liye, Tele-MANAS ko, jo mann ki sehat ke liye sarkaar ki muft helpline hai, 14416 par call kijiye.
In anubhavon mein khoya-sa mehsoos karne wale bahut se naujawan, jaldi mili madad aur saath khade parivaar ke sahare, padhaai, kaam aur aam dinon ki or lautne ka raasta pa sakte hain.
Jo do-teen badlaav aapko sabse zyaada pareshaan karte hain, unhein likh lijiye, har ek ke saath ek asli udaaharan. Unke saath hi apne phone mein Tele-MANAS ka number 14416 save kar lijiye. Ye dono taiyaar hon, to pehla call aur pehli mulaaqaat, dono zyaada shaant aur zyaada kaam ki ho jaati hain.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.