Bhai-behen ki guide
NeurodivergenceAapka bhai-behen aur autism
Kisi autistic apne ke bhai ya behen ke liye ek garm, seedhi guide: ghar us taraf kyun jhuka, jo bojh aapne chupchaap uthaaya, aur khud ko khoye bina unke saath kaise rahein.
Jab poora ghar ek bacche ke ird-gird jhuk jaata hai
Agar aapke ghar ka bahut kuch aapke autistic bhai ya behen ke ird-gird ghoomta lagta hai, aur aapne apne liye kam maangna seekh liya hai, to yeh dekh lena aapko swaarthi nahi banaata. Aap kuch saccha dekh rahe hain.
Ho sakta hai yojnaayein is hisaab se badalti hon ki aapka bhai-behen kitna sambhaal sakta hai. Ho sakta hai ghoomna-firna beech mein hi khatm ho jaata ho, ya hota hi na ho. Ho sakta hai aapke maata-pita poori tarah khinche hue hon, aur aap chupchaap aasaan wale ban gaye hon, woh jo dher mein ek aur cheez nahi jodta. Ho sakta hai aap apne bhai-behen se pyaar karte hon aur usi saans mein khud ko baahar chhoota hua mehsoos karte hon. Inmein se kuch bhi aapko bura bhai ya behen nahi banaata.
Yeh kitaabcha aapke liye hai, aapke bhai-behen ke liye nahi. Yeh aapko samajhne mein madad karega ki ho kya raha hai, apni bhaavnaaon ka matlab samajhne mein, aur unke saath khade rehne ke aise tareeqe dhoondhne mein jinmein aap khud gaayab na ho jaayein.
Riya solah saal ki hai. Uska chhota bhai Aman autistic hai. Jab woh khud chhoti thi, tabhi se woh samajh gayi thi ki shor bhari jagahein aur achaanak hone wale badlaav uske liye mushkil hain, isliye usne wahan jaane ki zid karni chhod di. Woh bina kahe madad kar deti hai, baat bigadne se pehle sambhaal leti hai, aur thakne par kabhi uska zikr nahi karti. Sab use samajhdaar kehte hain. Kisi ka dhyaan is par nahi jaata ki woh saalon se thodi akeli hai.
Riya shikaayat nahi kar rahi, aur jab aap yahi baat dekhte hain to aap bhi nahi kar rahe. Apne bhai-behen se pyaar karna aur thoda dhyaan apne liye bhi chaahna, ye ek-doosre ke ulat nahi hain. Dono ek hi saath sach ho sakte hain.
Ek tareeqa sochiye jisse aapka ghar aapke bhai-behen ki taraf jhukta hai. Bas use khud ke liye ek naam de deejiye, bina apraadhbodh ke. Use dekh lena bewafai nahi hai. Yeh pehla imaandaar kadam hai.
Yeh dimaag ki banaavat hai, koi chunaav nahi
Aapka bhai-behen jaan-boojhkar mushkil nahi kar raha. Autism dimaag ki ek alag banaavat hai, aur yeh baat samajh aate hi bahut se mushkil pal matlab rakhne lagte hain.
Aapka bhai-behen duniya ko alag tarah se mehsoos karta hai. Rozmarra ki jin aawaazon, roshniyon aur chhoone ki banaavaton par aapka dhyaan bhi mushkil se jaata hai, wahi un par sachmuch bhaari pad sakti hain, kyunki indriyon se jude ye farq autism ka ek saccha aur buniyaadi hissa hain. Meltdown, yaani sab kuch bhar jaane par phoot padna, koi nakhra ya badtameezi nahi hai; yeh ek tantrika tantra hai jo apni had tak pahunch chuka hai.
Ve baat bhi alag tarah se karte hain, aur yeh faasla dono taraf se hai. Aisa nahi hai ki aapka bhai-behen jud hi nahi sakta, baat bas itni hai ki aapki aur unki banaavat ek-doosre ko alag tarah se padhti hai. Ek shodh mein jab logon ko ek kahaani aage badhaani thi, to autistic logon ne doosre autistic logon ko achhi tarah samjha; chook zyadatar autistic aur gair-autistic logon ke beech hui. Isliye jab aapka bhai-behen waise jawaab nahi deta jaisa aap sochte hain, to yeh aam taur par aapko thukraana nahi hota. Yeh ek alag bhaasha hai.
Agli baar jab aapka bhai-behen kuch aisa kare jisse aapko jhunjhlaahat ho, to khud se poochhkar dekhiye: abhi ve kya mehsoos kar rahe honge, ya unhe kya chahiye hoga? Har baar aapka andaaza sahi nahi baithega. Bas poochh lena hi us pal ka ehsaas badal deta hai.
Woh vazan jo kisi ko dikhta nahi
Kisi autistic bacche ke bhai-behen aksar ek aisa atirikt bojh uthaate hain jise koi theek se naam nahi deta. Agar kabhi-kabhi aapko apne doston se zyada chinta ya udaasi mehsoos hoti hai, to woh sacchi hai, aur aam bhi hai.
Yeh aapka veham nahi hai. Jab shodhkartaaon ne kai adhyayanon ko ek saath rakha, to autistic bacchon ke bhai-behen sachmuch thoda zyada uthaate mile: kuch zyada chinta aur udaas mann, aur kabhi-kabhi bhai-behen ke rishte mein zyada mushkil. Par doosra aadha hissa bhi hai, aur woh maayne rakhta hai: zyadatar bhai-behen kul milaakar theek hi rehte hain, khaaskar tab jab unhe sahaara mile aur unhe yeh akele uthaane ke liye na chhoda jaaye.
- Aasaan wale banna, taaki aapke maata-pita ko ek chinta kam rahe.
- Doosre logon ke saamne apne bhai-behen ko samjhaana ya unka bachaav karna.
- Apni zarooratein roke rakhna taaki aap dher mein ek aur cheez na joden.
- Apne bhai-behen ki aur aane wale kal ki chinta, usse kahin zyada jitni aap dikhaate hain.
Bahut se bhaartiya parivaaron mein bhai ya behen se chupchaap yeh bhi umeed ki jaati hai ki aage chalkar dekhbhaal wahi karega, aur kisi ke zor se kehne se pehle hi aapko woh vazan mehsoos hone laga hoga. Yahan bhai-behen aksar apne autistic bhai ya behen par itna dhyaan laga dete hain ki apni mushkilon ka zikr mushkil se karte hain. Ismein se kuch uthaana parivaar ka hissa hai. Yeh sab kuch, chupchaap, akele uthaana ek naujawaan ke liye bahut zyada hai.
Ek cheez likh leejiye jo aap uthaate aa rahe hain aur jiske baare mein kisi ko pata nahi. Aapko use theek karna nahi hai, na kisi ko dikhaana hai. Use sir se nikaalkar kaagaz par rakh dena hi use halka kar deta hai.
Yeh sab mehsoos karna jaayaz hai
Aap apne bhai-behen se pyaar kar sakte hain aur phir bhi jhunjhlaahat, sharmindagi, jalan ya thakaan mehsoos kar sakte hain. Mili-juli bhaavnaayein bewafai nahi hain. Ek uljhe hue parivaar mein insaan hona aisa hi dikhta hai.
Ho sakta hai ek aam-sa ghoomna-firna chaahne par aapko apraadhbodh hota ho. Ho sakta hai sabke saamne aapko sharmindagi hui ho aur phir usi ke liye aapne khud se nafrat ki ho. Ho sakta hai aapko gussa aata ho ki itna kuch aapke ghar ke hisse aaya, aur phir usi gusse par sharm aati ho. Inmein se koi bhi bhaavna aapko bura bhai-behen nahi banaati, aur inhe bheetar dabaane se ye sirf aur bhaari hoti hain.
Sach yeh hai ki aapko apni zindagi ka poora haq hai: aapke dost, aapki dilchaspiyan, aapke bure din, aapke sapne. Apne bhai-behen se pyaar karne ke liye inhe chhodna zaroori nahi hai. Ek aisa bhai ya behen jise poora insaan bane rehne ki bhi ijaazat ho, sabke liye behtar hai, aapke bhai-behen ke liye bhi.
Apne bhai-behen ko lekar ek aisi bhaavna ko naam deejiye jise aap aam taur par chhipa lete hain, khud se bhi. Use mann hi mann, bina koi faisla sunaaye, keh deejiye: "Mera aisa mehsoos karna theek hai." Jin bhaavnaaon ko aap jagah de dete hain, ve peechhe se dor kheenchna band kar deti hain.
Saath bhi rahiye, aur khud bhi rahiye
Aap bhai-behen hain, maata ya pita nahi. Aap apne bhai ya behen ka saccha sahaara ban sakte hain aur phir bhi apna waqt, apni zarooratein aur apna aane wala kal bachaakar rakh sakte hain.
Aapko na apne bhai-behen ko theek karna hai aur na poora ghar chalaana hai. Aap jo sabse garmjoshi bhari cheezein de sakte hain, unmein se kai chhoti hoti hain aur unki apni sharton par hoti hain: koi saajha shauq, saath-saath baithkar koi shaant kaam, ek thahri hui maujoodgi jo unse kuch kar dikhaane ki maang nahi karti. Apne bhai-behen se unki bhaasha mein judiye, unhe apni bhaasha mein kheenchkar nahi.
Riya ne Aman se apne tareeqe par chalwaane ki koshish chhod di, aur uske apne tareeqe mein shaamil hona shuru kiya. Woh uske paas baithti hai jab woh apni railgaadiyan ek qataar mein lagaata hai aur use unke naam bataata hai. Yeh woh baatooni rishta nahi hai jiski usne kabhi kalpana ki thi, par yeh saccha hai, aur yeh un dono ka apna hai. Bahut se bhai-behen, Riya ki tarah, paate hain ki isse unmein sacchi taaqatein ugti hain: sabr, doosron ka dard samajhna, aur logon ko dekhne ka ek aisa tareeqa jo unki umar ke baaqi logon ke paas nahi hota.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aur apna khayaal jaan-boojhkar rakhiye. Koi ek cheez aisi rakhiye jo sirf aapki ho. Kisi ek bharosemand insaan ko bata deejiye ki ghar par asal mein kya chal raha hai. Aise logon se baat karna jo ise samajhte hon, koi dost, koi counsellor, ya aap jaise bhai-behnon ka koi samooh, sachmuch bhai-behnon ko sambhaalne mein aur kam akela mehsoos karne mein madad karta hai. Aapko bhi sahaare ki zaroorat ho sakti hai, aur yeh jaayaz hai.
Koi ek chhoti cheez chuniye jo sirf aapki ho, koi shauq, koi dost, ek shaant ghanta, aur is hafte use aise bachaaiye jaise woh maayne rakhti hai. Kyunki aap maayne rakhte hain, sirf apne bhai-behen ke madadgaar ke taur par nahi, balki jaise aap hain waise bhi.
Yeh bojh aapko akele nahi uthaana hai
Sahaara maangna kamzori nahi hai, aur yeh dekhbhaal akele aapke uthaane ki nahi hai. Aapka parivaar aur aapke bhai-behen ke doctor ismein aapke saath hain.
Agar kabhi yeh vazan bahut zyada lagne lage, ya aap bahut udaas ya ghabraaye hue rehte hon, to yeh kisi bharosemand bade insaan ko bataane laayaq baat hai. Aisa counsellor jo aapke jaise parivaaron ko samajhta ho, madad kar sakta hai, aur aise samooh jahan aap autistic bacchon ke doosre bhai-behnon se milte hain, aapko kahin kam akela mehsoos kara sakte hain aur saath hi sambhaalne ke sacche tareeqe bhi sikha sakte hain. Madad ke liye haath badhaana apne parivaar ko niraash karna nahi hai. Yeh is baat ka dhyaan rakhna hai ki aap bhi theek rahein.
Yaad rakhiye
Aapke bhai-behen ka autism aapne paida nahi kiya, aap use theek bhi nahi kar sakte, aur poore parivaar ko uthaana aapka kaam nahi hai. Ek pyaar karne wala bhai ya behen hone ka matlab khud gaayab ho jaana nahi hai. Lambe raaste par aap apne bhai-behen ke liye jo sabse achhi cheez ho sakte hain, woh hai ek poora aur theek-thaak insaan, jo ab bhi unke saath khada hai.
Aapke saath
Agar yeh kabhi sachmuch bahut bhaari ho jaaye, aisa bhaaripan jo utarta hi nahi, to kisi ko zaroor bataaiye: koi maata ya pita, koi shikshak, koi counsellor. Neeche diya gaya sankat card aapko ve log deta hai jin tak aap kisi bhi waqt pahunch sakte hain, din ho ya raat.
Aap apne bhai-behen se poore dil se pyaar kar sakte hain aur phir bhi apni ek poori zindagi apne paas rakh sakte hain.
Aaj raat ek baat ko naam deejiye jo aapko apne bhai-behen mein sachmuch bahut achhi lagti hai, aur ek baat jis par aapko khud par garv hai. Dono, saath-saath. Yahi woh santulan hai jiske baare mein yeh poora kitaabcha hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.