Maa-baap ki guide
NeurodivergenceAapka bachcha aur autism
Autistic bachche ke maa-baap ke liye ek garm guide: meltdown aur routine asal mein kya keh rahe hain, aur bachche ke dimaag ke khilaaf nahi, uske saath kaise chalein.
Apne bachche ko saaf dekhna
Agar aapka bachcha duniya ko alag tarah se dekhta, sunta aur usse alag tarah se judta hai, to na aap kuch galat kar rahe hain aur na aapka bachcha. Kuch asli chal raha hai, aur use samajhna chinta karne se kahin zyaada kaam aata hai.
Shayad aapka bachcha khilaunon ko ek khaas tarteeb mein lagata hai, aur yojna mein zara-sa badlaav poore din ko bigaad deta hai. Shayad shor bhari jagahein ya kuch khaas kapde usse bardaasht hi nahi hote. Shayad use koi ek vishay bahut gehrai se pasand hai, aur halki-fulki baatcheet ya aankhein milana mushkil lagta hai. Shayad bolna der se aaya, ya apne hi alag dhang se aata hai. Aapne yeh sab dekha hai, aur socha bhi hai.
Ye is baat ke sanket ho sakte hain ki aapke bachche ka dimaag alag tarah se badhta hai, ek aise pattern mein jise log autism kehte hain. Autism aam hai, aur yeh poori zindagi saath rehta hai; yeh koi ilaaj karne laayak beemari nahi hai aur na aapki kisi baat ka nateeja. Jab ye farak alag-alag jagahon par aur lambe samay tak dikhein, to woh samajhne laayak hain, sudhaarne laayak nahi.
Sirf ek doctor hi pakke taur par bata sakte hain ki aapka bachcha autistic hai ya nahi. Yeh kitaab aapke bachche par woh label nahi lagati. Yeh aapko us vyavhaar ko saaf dekhne mein, aur aise jawab dene mein madad karti hai jo sachmuch kaam aata hai.
Priya ka beta Vihaan saat saal ka hai. Woh har grah ka naam bata sakta hai aur saurmandal yaad se bana sakta hai, par ek janamdin ki party use rula deti hai. Naye joote, bus ke raaste mein badlaav, koi doosra shikshak, inmein se kuch bhi ek poori subah bigaad sakta hai. Log Priya se kehte hain ki woh ziddi hai, ya bigda hua hai, ya yeh ki woh uski bahut sunti hain. Aur Priya chupchaap yeh sochne lagi hain ki woh kahaan galat kar rahi hain.
Woh kahin galat nahi kar rahin. Priya jo dekh rahi hain, woh badtameezi nahi hai. Yeh ek bachcha hai jo aisi duniya se takra raha hai jo uske dimaag ki banawat ke hisaab se bahut tez aur bahut shor bhari hai, aur woh apni poori koshish se use sambhaal raha hai. Jis din yeh baat samajh aa jaati hai, wahi pal avagya jaise dikhna band kar dete hain aur aisi takleef jaise dikhne lagte hain jismein woh madad kar sakti hain.
Kuch dinon tak bas dekhiye, kuch sudhaare bina. Dhyaan dijiye ki aapka bachcha kab shaant aur khush rehta hai, aur cheezein kab bigad jaati hain. Aap abhi kuch theek nahi kar rahe. Aap uska pattern samajh rahe hain: kya use shaant karta hai, aur kya use bhaari pad jaata hai.
Dimaag ki ek alag banawat, koi kami nahi
Autism dimaag ke badhne ke tareeke mein ek farak hai, jo zindagi ke shuru se maujood hota hai. Yeh na galat parvarish hai, na zyaada screen, na teeke, aur na aapka bachcha jaan-boojh kar mushkil kar raha hai.
Yeh woh baat hai jo ek baar bharosa ho jaane par sab kuch badal deti hai. Ek autistic dimaag ki banawat alag hoti hai, ismein ki woh logon se judaav, indriyon tak pahunchne wali cheezon, aur badlaav ko kaise sambhaalta hai. Jo bahut kuch badtameezi jaisa dikhta hai, woh asal mein na kar paana hai, na ki jaan-boojh kar na karna. Shor bhare bazaar mein meltdown, yaani sab kuch bhar jaane par bachche ka foot padna, aapke bachche ki shararat nahi hai. Yeh uska tantrika tantra hai, jo apni had tak pahunch chuka hai.
Aur yeh aapki galti bhi nahi hai. Autism parivaaron mein kaafi chalta hai aur zyaadatar dimaag ke badhne ke tareeke mein un farkon se aata hai jo viraasat mein milte hain; bade adhyayanon mein aisa koi saboot nahi milta ki yeh maa ki wajah se ya parvarish ki wajah se hota hai. Aur ek aisi afwaah ke baawajood jo marne ka naam nahi leti, das laakh se zyaada bachchon par hue bahut bade adhyayanon mein teekon aur autism ke beech koi sambandh nahi mila.
Jis din mujhe pata chala ki yeh uske dimaag ki banawat hai, us din maine yeh poochna chhod diya ki maine kya galat kiya, aur yeh poochna shuru kiya ki use kya chahiye.
Priya, 7 saal ke Vihaan ki maa
Hamare bahut se gharon mein faisla jaldi suna diya jaata hai: bachcha bigda hua hai, aap bahut naram hain, thodi sakhti sab theek kar degi. Yeh faisla galat hai, aur yeh bhaari bhi padta hai. Aapka bachcha koi anushaasan ki samasya nahi hai jo aur sakht parvarish ka intezaar kar rahi ho. Woh ek alag tarah ka mann lekar aaya hai, jo ek alag tarah ke sahare ke saath behtar chalta hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Iska yeh matlab nahi ki koi seemayein hi na hon. Ek autistic bachche ko dhaanche ki zaroorat baaki bachchon se bhi zyaada hoti hai, bas use zyaada garmjoshi, zyaada dheeraj aur kahin kam achanakpan ke saath dena hota hai. Aage ke hisse aapko yehi batate hain ki kaise. Yahaan baat bas itni hai: shuruaat "uska dimaag alag tarah se kaam karta hai" se kijiye, na ki "woh badtameezi kar raha hai" se, aur iske baad aap jo bhi karenge woh behtar baithega.
Agli baar jab aapke mann mein yeh aaye ki "woh yeh mujhe tang karne ke liye kar raha hai", to khud ko pakadiye. Uski jagah rakhiye: "uska poora system abhi bhar chuka hai". Phir dekhiye ki aapka apna shareer thoda dheela padta hai ya nahi. Ek shaant maata ya pita aadhi madad to pehle hi kar dete hain.
Apne bachche ki banawat ke saath chalna
Sabse mazboot madad yeh nahi hai ki aap apne bachche ko baaki bachchon jaisa bartaav karne par majboor karein. Yeh rozmarra ke kuch chhote-chhote kadam hain jo tanaav ghataate hain aur aapke bachche se wahin milte hain jahaan woh hai.
Aapko yeh badalne ki zaroorat nahi ki aapka bachcha hai kaun. Aapko bas din ko us par thoda behtar fit karana hai. Apne bachche ki banawat ke saath chaliye, uske khilaaf nahi. Kuch chhote kadam, shaanti se aur baar-baar istemaal kiye jaayein, to kisi bhi badi naseehat se zyaada badalte hain.
- Din ko andaza lagane laayak rakhiye, aur kuch badalne se pehle bata dijiye.
- Indriyon par padne wala bojh kam kijiye, aur sambhalne ke liye ek shaant jagah dijiye.
- Uski ruchiyon ke peechhe chaliye, aur jo use pasand hai usi par aage badhaiye.
- Chhote, saaf aur thos shabd boliye, aur sirf bataiye nahi, dikhaiye bhi.
Inmein se do ko thoda kareeb se dekhna zaroori hai. Pehla, meltdown. Meltdown koi nakhra ya zid nahi hai; yeh bhar jaane ka chhalak jaana hai, aur aapke bachche ko usmein aapse zyaada maza nahi aa raha. Jo jawab madad karta hai woh saza nahi, shaanti hai: shor aur roshni kam kijiye, jagah aur waqt dijiye, aur toofan guzarne tak sthir bane rahiye.
Doosra, judaav. Aapka bachcha baat karta hai, bas hamesha us tarah nahi jis tarah baaki log karte hain. Indriyon ka bhar jaana asli hai, aur din ko uske hisaab se banana bachche ko sir chadhaana nahi, use sambhalne mein madad karna hai. Aisa sahara jo maata-pita ke zariye kaam karta hai, aur bachche se usi tareeke mein milta hai jisse woh pehle se baat karta hai, bachche ke baatcheet karne aur judne mein sudhaar la sakta hai, aur yeh faayda tik bhi sakta hai. Yeh sahara aur samajh hai, ilaaj nahi.
Woh ek cheez chuniye jo aapke bachche ko sabse zyaada bhaari padti hai, koi aawaz, koi banawat, koi achanak badlaav. Is hafte use naram karne ka ek chhota tareeka tay kijiye: headphone, badlaav se pehle ek chetavni, ek shaant kona. Phir dekhiye ki kya halka padta hai.
School ko apne saath laana
Aapka bachcha din ka bada hissa kaksha mein bitaata hai, isliye shikshak aapke sabse zaroori saathi hain. School mein chhote aur uchit badlaav sachmuch farak la sakte hain.
Zaroori nahi ki school waale visheshagya hon. Zaroorat bas is baat ki hai ki woh aapke saathi banein. Jo badlaav ek autistic bachche ki madad karte hain, unmein se kai aasaan hain: ek tay routine, saaf aur thos nirdesh, badlaav se pehle ek chetavni, shor aur bheed se door ek seat, aur ek shaant jagah jahaan woh tab ja sake jab sab kuch bahut ho jaaye.
Wahaan ek saathi bankar jaaiye, shikaayat lekar nahi. Zyaadatar shikshak madad karna chaahte hain, bas unhein yeh samajh aa jaaye ki yeh aapke bachche ki banawat ka ek farak hai, badtameezi nahi, aur is baat ki nishani bhi nahi ki aap ghar par kahin chook gaye hain.
Jab Priya Vihaan ke shikshak se milin, to unhonne shikaayaton se shuruaat nahi ki. Unhonne kaha, "Shor bhare aur bhaagdaud waale pal uske liye bahut mushkil hain, aur achanak hone waale badlaav use hila dete hain. Kya hum milkar kuch cheezein aazma sakte hain?" Woh is par sehmat hue ki use deewaar ke paas seat milegi, yojna mein kisi bhi badlaav se pehle use bata diya jaayega, aur ek shaant kona hoga jahaan headphone ke saath woh tab ja sake jab sab bhaari lagne lage. Kuch hi hafton mein meltdown kam ho gaye, aur Vihaan ko yeh bharosa hone laga ki school jhela ja sakta hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek chhoti baatcheet maangiye, koi lambi aupchaarik meeting nahi, aur das baaton ki fehrist ke bajaye ek ya do thos maangein lekar jaaiye. Bataiye ki ghar par aapke bachche ko kya shaant karta hai taaki shikshak wahi dohra sakein, aur poochiye ki kaksha mein kya kaam karta hai taaki aap wahi ghar par dohra sakein. Ek saajha note, chaahe din ki ek hi pankti ho, aap dono ko sajag rakhta hai aur ek achche din ki khushi saath manane deta hai.
Woh teen cheezein likhiye jo aapke bachche ko school mein sabse mushkil lagti hain. Unmein se woh ek chhota badlaav chuniye jo sabse zyaada madad karega, aur shikshak se pehle sirf wahi maangiye. Ek jeet agli baar ke liye yeh saajhedaari mazboot kar deti hai.
Aap kahin chook nahi rahe
Ek autistic bachche ki parvarish sachmuch bahut maangti hai, aur jo thakan aap uthaate hain woh asli hai. Apna khyaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai; yeh apne bachche ka khyaal rakhne ka hi ek hissa hai.
Autistic bachchon ke maata-pita ausatan baaki maata-pita se kahin zyaada tanaav uthaate hain. Yeh kamzori nahi hai. Yeh ek sachmuch mushkil aur aksar akele kar diye jaane waale kaam par ek saamaanya pratikriya hai, jo kai baar aaspaas ke logon se bina paryaapt sahare ya samajh ke karna padta hai. Maata-pita ko sahara dena bachche ki madad ka hissa hai, ooper se jodi gayi koi aisho-aaram ki cheez nahi.
Yeh bhi yaad rakhiye ki autism parivaaron mein chalta hai. Kabhi-kabhi aisi kitaab padhte hue maata ya pita ko pannon mein apna bhi thoda aks dikh jaata hai. Yeh koi kami nahi hai. Yeh apne bachche ko aur khud ko, dono ko thodi aur narmi se samajhne ki shuruaat ho sakti hai.
Sanyukt parivaar mein yeh dabaav kai guna ho jaata hai. Rishtedaar aapki parvarish ko dosh de sakte hain, aapke bachche ki tulna chachere-mamere bhai-behnon se kar sakte hain, ya zor de sakte hain ki bas thodi sakhti ki zaroorat hai. Yeh tippani sach nahi hai, aur aapko har behes jeetni bhi nahi hai. Ek chhota, sthir jawab kaam aata hai: "Doctor humein raasta dikha rahe hain, aur hum ek aisi yojna par chal rahe hain jo uske liye kaam karti hai."
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek aisa insaan dhoondhiye jo poori tarah aapke saath ho, aapke jeevansaathi, koi bhai ya behen, koi dost, ya koi aur maata ya pita jo yeh sab samajhte hon. Mushkil hissa kisi aise ke saamne zor se keh dena jo koi faisla na sunaaye, bojh thoda halka kar deta hai. Sharm aur akelapan, dono chuppi mein badhte hain, aur jaise hi yeh bojh akele aapka nahi reh jaata, dono mein se koi zyaada der nahi tikta.
Aapke saath
Un mushkil shaamon mein, jab dheeraj khatm ho chuka ho aur phir usi baat ka bahut bura laga ho, yeh baat saaf sun lijiye: jo maata ya pita apne bachche ko samajhne ke liye ek poori kitaab padh jaayein, woh kahin chook nahi rahe. Woh apne bachche ke liye lad rahe hain. Woh aap hain.
Aaj raat ek baat ka naam lijiye jo aapne aaj maata ya pita ke taur par achchi ki, chaahe kitni hi chhoti ho. Aap ek meltdown ke dauraan shaant bane rahe. Aapne ek cheez dekhi jo aapke bachche ko bahut pasand hai. Sone se pehle yeh baat khud se kahiye, aur ek hafte tak kahiye.
Ek doctor aur baaki log kya de sakte hain
Aapko yeh sab akele nahi samajhna hai. Ek doctor aapke bachche ki theek se jaanch kar sakte hain aur ek yojna banane mein aapki madad kar sakte hain, aur jaldi haath badhaane se aur bhi darwaze khulte hain.
Ek theek se ki gayi jaanch aapko bata sakti hai ki aapke bachche ko kahaan sahare ki zaroorat hai aur uski taaqatein kahaan hain, aur isse school ko madad karne ki ek saaf wajah bhi mil jaati hai. Ek chhote autistic bachche ke liye sabse kaam ka sahara aksar aapke, yaani maata-pita ke zariye chalta hai, aur usi par aage badhta hai jis tarah aapka bachcha pehle se judta hai, aur jaldi shuru kiya jaaye to yeh baatcheet mein aise sudhaar la sakta hai jo tikte hain. Yeh sahara aur samajh hai, kabhi ilaaj nahi, kyunki aapke bachche ko theek kiye jaane ki zaroorat hi nahi hai.
Jaldi haath badhana maayne rakhta hai, aur madad maangna yeh maan lena nahi hai ki aap chook gaye. Yeh uska bilkul ulta hai.
Aur dawa ka kya? Aisi koi dawa nahi hai jo autism ka khud ilaaj kare. Doctor kabhi-kabhi un cheezon mein madad kar sakte hain jo iske saath-saath chal sakti hain, jaise neend ki dikkat, tez ghabraahat, ya bhaari meltdown, aur aisa koi bhi faisla aapke parivaar ke saath soch-samajhkar liya jaata hai, kabhi pehla kadam nahi, aur kabhi samajh aur sahare ki jagah nahi.
Yaad rakhiye
Ek achche visheshagya aapke haath mein ek label thamaakar chale nahi jaate. Woh poore bachche ko dekhte hain: uska baat karna, uski indriyaan, neend, school, parivaar, aur aapke bachche ki asli taaqatein. Sahara ek baatcheet hai jo samay ke saath badalti rehti hai, aur aap har faisle ka hissa bane rehte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Pehli mulaaqat se pehle aapke paas har jawab hona zaroori nahi. Bas woh lekar jaaiye jo aapne dekha hai: aapke bachche ko kya bhaari padta hai, kya use shaant karta hai, use kya pasand hai, aur mushkil pal kab aate hain. Visheshagya ko theek yehi jaankari chahiye, aur yehi ek daraawni mulaaqat ko ek kaam karti saajhedaari mein badal deti hai.
Jo bachcha aaj is shor bhari, tez duniya se joojh raha hai, wahi aage chalkar kamaal ke kaam karne wala insaan ban sakta hai, bas use sudhaarne ke bajaye samjha jaaye.
Apne bachche ke baare mein woh do ya teen baatein likhiye jo aapko sabse zyaada chinta mein daalti hain, aur do ya teen baatein jo aapko usmein sabse zyaada pasand hain. Yeh soochi apne phone mein rakhiye. Dono lekar jaana pehli mulaaqat ko shaant banata hai, aur dhyaan poore bachche par tikaaye rakhta hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.