Maa-baap ki guide
NeurodivergenceAapka bachcha aur AuDHD
Us maata-pita ki guide jiske bachche ko sab ek jaisa bhi chahiye aur naya bhi, jo shor dhoondhta bhi hai aur usse ghabraata bhi hai: roz ke tike kadam jo dono tarafon ki madad karte hain.
Do taraf khinchta ek bachcha
Agar aapke bachche ko ek hi samay par sab kuch ek jaisa bhi chahiye aur kuch naya bhi, to yeh aapka veham nahi hai. Aap kuch galat bhi nahi kar rahe. Ek hi bachche mein do asli pattern saath reh sakte hain, aur dono ko samajhna madad karta hai.
Aapke bachche ko wohi naashta chahiye, wohi cup, school ka wohi raasta. Phir bhi koi bhi naya khel use kuch hi minuton mein bore kar deta hai. Shaadi ke band par woh kaan band kar leta hai, aur phir ghar par har thaali par chammach bajaata hai. Kuch subahon aapko pata hi nahi hota ki aaj kaun-sa bachcha jaagega.
Kuch bachchon mein ek saath do pattern dikhte hain. Ek hai bechain, jaldi bhatak jaane wala, bina soche pehle kar dene wala pattern, jaise dhyaan ka system har waqt bahut vyast ho. Doosra hai aisa bachcha jise routine chahiye, jise shor aur chhuan bahut tez lagte hain, aur jo logon se apne hi dhang se judta hai. Ye dono aksar saath-saath chalte hain.
Aap jo doctori naam sun sakte hain, ve hain ADHD aur autism. Jab dono saath hon, to kuch log ise AuDHD kehte hain. Inmein se koi bhi aapke bachche par laagu hota hai ya nahi, yeh sirf ek doctor hi bata sakte hain. Yeh kitaab aapke bachche par koi label nahi lagayegi. Yeh aapko dono pattern saaf dekhne mein, aur aise jawab dene mein madad karegi jinse sachmuch madad ho.
Rekha ki beti Ananya nau saal ki hai. Woh ghante bhar pakshiyon ke baare mein baat kar sakti hai, aur use har pakshi ki aawaz yaad hai. School mein uski teacher use shaant aur achchi bachchi kehti hain, thodi khoyi-khoyi si. Ghar par sabse chhoti baat bhi toofaan khada kar deti hai: badli hui yojna, chubhne wali uniform, bahut zor se bolne wali behen. Rekha ki saas kehti hain ki ladki bigdi hui hai. Rekha ne chupchaap yeh sochna shuru kar diya hai ki kahin samasya woh khud to nahi.
Woh nahi hai. Ananya school ka poora din theek dikhne ki kadi mehnat mein bitaati hai. Woh sthir baithti hai, doosri ladkiyon ki nakal karti hai, aur shor aur uljhan ko andar hi andar nigal jaati hai. Kuch ladkiyaan apni mushkilein isi tarah chhipa leti hain, isliye ve nazar se chhoot sakti hain. Jab tak Ananya ghar pahunchti hai, ho sakta hai uske paas kuch bhi na bacha ho. Ghar ka toofaan buri parvarish ki nishaani nahi hai. Ananya ke liye yeh din bhar khud ko thaame rakhne ki keemat ho sakta hai.
Kuch dinon tak bas dekhiye, bina toke. Gaur kijiye ki aapka bachcha kab shaant aur khush rehta hai, aur cheezein kab bigad jaati hain. Yeh bhi dekhiye ki theek usse pehle kya hua tha. Aap abhi kuch theek nahi kar rahe. Aap uske dono pattern samajh rahe hain.
Do banaawatein, ek bachcha
Ye farak aapke bachche ke badhne ke tareeke mein hain, aur aam taur par zindagi ke shuru se maujood hote hain. Ye aapki galti nahi hain, aur aapka bachcha jaan-boojhkar mushkil nahi kar raha.
Ab asli baat. Aapke bachche ke dimaag mein do tarah ki banaawat hai, aur ve aksar ulti dishaon mein kheenchti hain.
Ek taraf ko nayapan aur halchal chahiye, jabki doosri taraf ko routine aur sukoon. Ek taraf shor aur josh wali cheezein dhoondhti hai, jabki doosri taraf ke liye wohi sab bahut zyaada ho jaata hai. Isliye jo bahut kuch badtameezi jaisa dikhta hai, woh asal mein na kar paana hai, na ki jaan-boojhkar na karna.
Yeh aapki galti bhi nahi hai. Dono pattern parivaaron mein chalte hain, aur ye dono aksar ek hi parivaar mein saath dikhte hain. Maana jaata hai ki dono ki mukhya wajah genes hain, aur yeh ki ve bachche ke aaspaas ke maahaul ke saath milkar kaise kaam karte hain.
Agar aapko parvarish ka koi program sujhaya jaaye, to iska matlab yeh nahi ki aapne galat parvarish ki hai. Dhyaan wali taraf ki guidelines yeh saaf kehti hain: maqsad hai zyaada zarooraton wale bachche ke liye zyaada hunar banaana. Autism wali taraf ke liye, paanch deshon ke bachchon par hue ek bade adhyayan mein dekha gaya ki iski zyaadatar wajah viraasat mein mile genes the. Usmein maa ki or se kisi alag asar ka koi saboot nahi mila.
Main uski ek taraf ko theek karne ki koshish karti rahi, aur doosri taraf aur bigadti gayi. Jab maine dekha ki woh dono tarah se bani hai, to maine use dosh dena chhod diya, aur khud ko bhi.
Rekha, 9 saal ki Ananya ki maa
Isiliye salaahein itni uljhaane wali lag sakti hain. Ek naya khel ek taraf ko jaga deta hai aur doosri ko hila deta hai. Ek sakht timetable ek taraf ko sukoon deta hai aur doosri ko bore karta hai. Jab dono pattern maujood hon, to mushkilein aksar kisi ek pattern ke akele hone ke muqable zyaada hoti hain. Yehi woh bojh hai jo aapka parivaar uthaata hai, aur yeh aapke pyaar ka paimaana nahi hai.
Hamare kai gharon mein faisla jhat se suna diya jaata hai: bachcha bigda hua hai, aap bahut naram hain, log kya kahenge. Woh faisla bhaari hai, aur usmein woh baat chhoot jaati hai jo asal mein chal rahi hai. Aapka bachcha ek alag tarah ka mann lekar aaya hai, jise ek alag tarah ka sahaara chahiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Iska yeh matlab nahi ki koi niyam hi na hon. Dono tarah se bane bachche ko bhi dhaanche ki zaroorat hai, bas zyaada garmjoshi, pehle se zyaada chetaavni, aur hilne-dulne ki thodi jagah ke saath. Maqsad dono tarafon mein se kisi ek ko jitaana nahi hai. Maqsad hai har taraf ko thoda-thoda woh dena jo use chahiye. Aage ke hisse aapko batate hain ki kaise.
Agli baar jab aapke mann mein aaye ki "mera bachcha yeh jaan-boojhkar kar raha hai", to khud ko pakadiye. Uski jagah rakhiye: "Abhi do zaroortein ek saath kheench rahi hain." Gaur kijiye ki kya aapka apna shareer thoda naram padta hai. Ek shaant maata ya pita pehle se hi madad ka hissa hain.
Dhaancha, par hilne ki jagah ke saath
Ghar par madad bhaashanon ya saza se kam judi hai. Yeh zyaada un rozmarra ke kuch kadamon se judi hai jo din ko thaamte hain, aur phir bhi kuch naye ke liye thodi jagah chhodte hain.
5 saal se chhote bachchon mein dhyaan wali taraf ke liye, guidelines sabse pehle maata-pita ke liye group mein chalne wala parvarish ka program rakhti hain. 5 saal aur usse bade bachchon ke liye, ve maata-pita ko aisa sahaara deti hain jismein parvarish ke tareekon par salaah shaamil hoti hai. Autism wali taraf ke mushkil vyavhaar ke liye, ve pehle dard ya shor jaisi wajahein dhoondhti hain. Phir ve ek sochi-samjhi yojna ki salaah deti hain, jis par maata-pita aur visheshagya milkar sehmat hon.
Dono tarah se bane bachche ke liye, visheshagya sujhaate hain ki yeh madad routine, indriyon aur mushkil vyavhaar ko bhi shaamil kare. Har lakshya chhota aur mumkin rakhiye, kyunki chhoti kaamyaabi, koi kaamyaabi na hone se behtar hai.
- Roz ka routine ek jaisa rakhiye, aur kuch naye ke liye pehle se tay jagah rakhiye.
- Indriyon ke liye pehle se sochiye: kam shor, ek shaant kona, hilne-dulne ka waqt.
- Ek chhoti, saaf baat kahiye, aur jis pal kadam uthe, usi pal uski tareef kijiye.
- Toofaan ke waqt shor kam kijiye, paas aur shaant rahiye, aur baat baad mein kijiye.
Shuruaat aise dhaanche se kijiye jo lachila ho. Har din kuch tay padaav rakhiye, jaise khaana, homework aur sone ka waqt. Deewar par tasveeron wala timetable dikhata hai ki aage kya aane wala hai. In padaavon ke beech chhote-chhote chunaav dijiye: pehle kaun-si kitaab, park ke liye kaun-sa raasta. Routine ek taraf ko sukoon deta hai, aur chunne ka mauka doosri taraf ki zaroorat poori karta hai.
Phir indriyon ke liye yojna banaaiye. Gaur kijiye ki aapke bachche ko kya bhaari padta hai, jaise pressure cooker ki seeti ya tang collar. Yeh bhi dekhiye ki woh kya dhoondhta hai, jaise gol-gol ghoomna ya koodna. Dono ko din mein jagah dijiye: shor bhari shaadi ke liye headphone, aur homework se pehle das minute ki daud.
Mushkil pal alag-alag dikh sakte hain. Kuch tezi se aate hain, jab intezaar karna ya kisi mazedaar kaam ko rokna bahut mushkil lagta hai. Kuch aise lagte hain jaise sab kuch bahut zyaada hokar chhalak gaya ho. Dono hi haalat mein, kisi shaant jagah chale jaane se takleef kam hone mein madad mil sakti hai. Apne shabd kam rakhiye, aur paas aur sthir bane rahiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Toofaan ke baad ek shaant jaasoos ban jaaiye. Likh lijiye ki theek pehle kya hua tha, toofaan kaisa dikha, aur uske baad kya hua. Doctor aur visheshagya isi tarah ke record se trigger, yaani bhadkaane wali wajahein, dhoondhte hain. Samay ke saath aapko pattern dikh sakte hain, jaise bhookh, achanak badlaav, ya koi ek khaas aawaz. Jab aapko koi trigger pata chal jaaye, to kabhi-kabhi aap uske hisaab se pehle se yojna bana sakte hain.
Yaad rakhiye
Meltdown, yaani aise toofaan, ke baare mein baat uske guzar jaane ke baad karne ki koshish kijiye, uske beech mein nahi. Toofaan ke beech shabd andar tak pahunchna mushkil hota hai. Abhi ke liye, ek shaant chehra aur ek sthir aawaz kaafi hai.
Apne bachche ke din ka sabse mushkil waqt chuniye. Is hafte uske liye ek chhota badlaav tay kijiye: do minute pehle ki chetaavni, ek shaant kona, ya do cheezon mein se ek chunne ka mauka. Yeh tay karne se pehle ki yeh kaam karta hai ya nahi, ise ek hafta aazmaiye.
School ko apne saath laana
Aapka bachcha din ka kaafi hissa classroom mein bitaata hai, isliye teacher ek zaroori saathi hain. Visheshagya sujhaate hain ki school mein chhote aur waajib badlaav tanaav kam kar sakte hain aur aapke bachche ko seekhne mein madad kar sakte hain.
Zaroori nahi ki school wale visheshagya hon. Zaroori yeh hai ki ve aapke saathi banein. Madad karne wale badlaav aksar aasaan hote hain: shor se door ek seat, hilne-dulne ke chhote break, aur recess aur lunch ke waqt ek shaant jagah. Ek tay routine aur badlaav se pehle chetaavni maangna bhi faaydemand hai.
Saathi bankar jaaiye, ilzaam lagaane wale bankar nahi. Samjhaaiye ki yeh aapke bachche ki banaawat ka ek farak hai, shararat nahi, aur is baat ki nishaani bhi nahi ki aap ghar par naakam rahe hain. Visheshagya teacheron ko salaah dete hain ki ve aise bachchon ko sharaarti na kahein, kyunki aisa label school mein bachche par thappa ban sakta hai.
Jab Rekha Ananya ki teacher se mili, to teacher hairaan huin. "Woh to bilkul pareshaan nahi karti," unhone kaha. Rekha ne samjhaaya ki Ananya school mein sab kuch andar roke rakhti hai aur ghar aakar bikhar jaati hai. Dono is par raazi huin ki use darwaaze se door seat milegi, kisi bhi badlaav se pehle chetaavni milegi, aur lunch ke waqt ek shaant kona milega. Agle kuch hafton mein ghar ke toofaan thode chhote hote gaye.
Ananya jaisi ladkiyaan nazar se chhoot sakti hain. Research se ishaara milta hai ki dono pattern mein ladkiyon ko shaayad aksar kam pehchaana jaata hai. Kuch ladkiyaan doosron ki nakal karna aur apni mushkilein chhipaana seekh leti hain, isliye ek shaant, khoyi-khoyi si ladki shaayad class mein kabhi samasya jaisi na lage. Dhyaan bhatak jaana ya khayaalon mein kho jaana jaise halke sanket bhi maayne rakhte hain. Agar aapka bachcha "school mein theek hai par ghar par nahi", to teacher ko bataiye. Dono tasveerein ek saath sach ho sakti hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek chhoti baatcheet maangiye, koi lambi aupchaarik meeting nahi, aur ek ya do thos maangein lekar jaaiye. Bataiye ki ghar par aapke bachche ko kya shaant karta hai, aur poochiye ki class mein kya kaam karta hai. Bade badlaavon ki yojna pehle se banaaiye, jaise nayi class ya naya school. Ek saajha note, chahe din ki ek hi line ho, aap dono ko jode rakhta hai.
Ve teen cheezein likhiye jo aapke bachche ko school mein sabse mushkil lagti hain. Unmein se woh ek chhota badlaav chuniye jo sabse zyaada madad karega, aur pehle teacher se bas wohi ek cheez maangiye. Ek jeet agli jeet ke liye saath ki neev rakh deti hai.
Aap naakam nahi ho rahe
Dono tarah se bane bachche ko paalna sachmuch bahut bhaari kaam hai, aur jo thakaan aap dho rahe hain, woh asli hai. Apna khyaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai; yeh aapke bachche ki madad ka hi hissa hai.
Dono pattern wale bachchon ke parivaar bahut bhaari tanaav utha sakte hain. Yeh kamzori nahi hai. Yeh ek mushkil aur aksar akele kar diye jaane wale kaam par ek saamaanya pratikriya hai. Maata-pita ko sahaara dena bachche ki madad ka hissa hai, oopar se jodi gayi koi aisho-aaraam ki cheez nahi.
Teen seedhi-sachchi baatein thaame rahiye. Yeh aapki wajah se nahi hua. Aap iska ilaaj karke ise mita nahi sakte, aur aapke bachche ko theek kiye jaane ki zaroorat bhi nahi hai. Aap madad kar sakte hain, bahut zyaada, aur aap pehle se kar rahe hain.
Yeh bhi yaad rakhiye ki dono pattern parivaaron mein chalte hain. Kuch bade log apni jaanch pehli baar tab karvaate hain, jab unke parivaar mein kisi ki pehchaan (diagnosis) hoti hai. Agar in pannon mein aapko apna bachpan dikhta hai, to yeh koi kami nahi hai. Yeh apne bachche ko, aur khud ko, thodi aur narmi se samajhne ki shuruaat ho sakti hai.
Sanyukt parivaar mein dabaav kai guna badh jaata hai. Rishtedaar aapki parvarish ko dosh de sakte hain, aapke bachche ki tulna chachere-mamere bhai-behnon se kar sakte hain, ya is baat ki fikr kar sakte hain ki log kya kahenge. Aapko har behes jeetni nahi hai. Ek chhoti, sthir baat kaam aati hai: "Doctor hamein raasta dikha rahe hain, aur hum ek yojna par chal rahe hain."
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek aisa insaan dhoondhiye jo aapke saath ho: aapka jeevansaathi, behen, koi dost, ya koi aur maata ya pita jo yeh sab samajhte hon. Maata-pita ka support group (sahaayata samooh) bhi madad kar sakta hai. Wahaan aap un logon ke saath apni baat baant sakte hain jo usi haalat mein hain, aur tanaav, akelepan aur badnaami ke dar se nipat sakte hain. Aapko yeh sab chupchaap nahi uthaana hai.
Aapke saath
Mushkil shaamon mein, jab aapka dheeraj khatam ho chuka ho aur phir usi baat ka bahut bura laga ho, yeh baat saaf sun lijiye: jo maa apne bachche ko samajhne ke liye poori kitaab padh rahi hai, woh naakam nahi ho rahi. Woh apne bachche ke liye lad rahi hai. Woh aap hain.
Aaj raat ek cheez ka naam lijiye jo aapne aaj maata ya pita ke taur par achchi ki, chahe woh kitni hi chhoti ho. Aap ek toofaan ke dauraan shaant bane rahe. Aapne ek aisi cheez par gaur kiya jo aapke bachche ko bahut pasand hai. Sone se pehle ise khud se kahiye, aur ek hafte tak aisa kijiye.
Ek doctor aur baaki log kya de sakte hain
Yeh sab aapko akele nahi suljhaana hai. Ek doctor aapke bachche ki theek se jaanch kar sakte hain, dono pattern dekh sakte hain, aur ek yojna banaane mein aapki madad kar sakte hain.
Ek achchi jaanch dono pattern ko dekhti hai, sirf use nahi jo zyaada zor se dikhta hai. Yeh aapke bachche ki taaqaton ko bhi dekhti hai, aur aapki sehmati se iske nateeje school ke saath baante ja sakte hain. Madad ek chhoti team se aa sakti hai. Udaaharan ke liye, speech therapist aur occupational therapist bhaasha aur shareer ki harkaton ki jaanch kar sakte hain, aur school mein sahaare ki yojna banaane mein madad kar sakte hain.
Jaldi madad maangna naakaami qabool karna nahi hai. Yeh uska theek ulta hai.
Aur dawa ka kya? Autism wali taraf ki mukhya baaton ke liye koi dawa nahi sujhaai jaati. Dhyaan wali taraf ke liye, 5 saal ya usse bade bachche ko maansik rog ke doctor (manochikitsak) dawa ka sujhaav de sakte hain. Aisa aam taur par tab hota hai jab ghar aur school mein badlaav aazmaaye ja chuke hon, aur phir bhi dikkatein school ya dosti ke raaste mein aa rahi hon. 5 saal se chhote bachche ke liye, guidelines kisi bhi dawa se pehle ek doosre visheshagya ki raay lene ki salaah deti hain. Aisa koi bhi faisla aapke parivaar ke saath milkar liya jaata hai, aur samay-samay par us par dobaara nazar daali jaati hai.
Yaad rakhiye
Ek achche visheshagya aapke haath mein ek label thamaakar chale nahi jaate. Ve poore bachche ko dekhte hain: dhyaan, indriyaan, neend, school, dosti, parivaar, aur aapke bachche ki asli taaqatein. Samay ke saath yojna mein badlaav hote rehte hain, aur har faisle mein aap shaamil rehte hain.
Agar aapka bachcha kabhi marne ki ya khud ko chot pahunchaane ki baat kare, to ise gambhirta se lijiye aur usi din madad lijiye. Agar woh abhi isi waqt khatre mein hai, to 112 par phone kijiye. Tele-MANAS, 14416, mann ki sehat ke liye sarkaar ki muft helpline hai, jo din-raat kisi bhi waqt khuli rehti hai, aur is kitaab ke aakhir mein jis crisis card ka link diya gaya hai, usmein bhi yeh number hai. Apne bachche se aise khayaalon ke baare mein narmi se aur seedhe poochna theek hai. Kishoron aur badon par hui studies mein, aatmahatya ke khayaalon ke baare mein pooche jaane se ve khayaal badhe nahi.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Pehli mulaqat se pehle aapke paas har jawab hona zaroori nahi hai. Aapne jo dekha hai, wohi lekar jaaiye: aapke bachche ko kya bhaari padta hai, kya use shaant karta hai, use kya pasand hai, aur mushkil pal kab aate hain. Apne toofaan wale notes bhi le jaaiye. Unse visheshagya ko bahut madad milti hai, aur ve ek daraavni mulaqat ko saath milkar kiye jaane wale kaam mein badal dete hain.
Jo bachcha aaj do taraf khinch raha hai, wohi aage chalkar kamaal ke kaam karne wala insaan ban sakta hai, jab uski dono tarafon ko samajh liya jaaye.
Apne bachche ke baare mein ve do ya teen baatein likhiye jo aapko sabse zyaada chinta mein daalti hain, aur do ya teen baatein jo aapko usmein sabse zyaada pasand hain. Saath mein ek toofaan likhiye, aur yeh bhi ki theek usse pehle kya hua tha. Yeh list apne phone mein rakhiye, aur pehli mulaqat par saath le jaaiye.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.