Kisi ko OCD ke saath pyaar karna

Ab tak aap iski shakl pehchaan chuke hain. Wahi sawaal, aaj raat dasvi baar. Taala jaancha, phir dobaara jaancha. Haath itne dhoye ki tvacha sookhi aur dukhne lagi. Aap jawab dete hain, intezaar karte hain, madad karte hain, aur phir bhi baat laut aati hai. Aur is sabke neeche, aapke andar, ek thakaan baithi hai jise aap shayad hi kabhi zor se kehte hain.

Yeh jaankar raahat milti hai ki yeh pattern doctoron ka jaana-pehchaana hai, aur iska ilaaj ho sakta hai. Jo doctori naam aap sun sakte hain, woh hai obsessive-compulsive disorder, yaani OCD. Sirf ek doctor hi bata sakta hai ki yeh naam laagu hota hai ya nahi, aur yeh kitaab aapke saathi par koi label nahi lagaati. Pattern ko samajhna hi usse baahar nikalne ka pehla qadam hai. Yeh kitaab aap dono ki madad ke liye hai, is tarah ki raaste mein aap khud ko na kho dein.

Thaka hua mehsoos karne se aap bure saathi nahi ban jaate. Parivaar ke log, saathi bhi, aksar ismein khinch jaate hain. 20 jodon par hue ek chhote adhyayan mein dekha gaya ki jo saathi ismein zyaada khinche hue the, ve rishte se kam santusht the. Isliye ise saaf-saaf kehna zaroori hai. Yeh sehat ki ek samasya hai. Yeh koi charitra ki kami nahi hai, aur na hi is baat ki nishaani ki aapke saathi aap par bharosa nahi karte.

Sneha ne kuch galat nahi kiya, aur na hi Kartik ne. Jo bojh woh uthaati hai woh sachcha hai, aur jisse woh lad raha hai woh bhi. Uski haan pyaar hai, aur woh use ek pal ke liye shaant kar deti hai. Par shak laut aata hai, aur poochna badhta jaata hai. Yeh un dono mein se kisi ki kami nahi hai. Yeh ek pattern hai, aur jab pattern dikhne lagta hai, to woh badal sakta hai.

Lagbhag har kisi ke mann mein kabhi-kabhi ajeeb, pareshaan karne waale khayaal aate hain. Ek kaala sa "agar aisa ho gaya to". Kisi tasveer ki ek jhalak jo humare swabhaav se mel nahi khaati. Is pattern mein aise khayaal baar-baar aate hain aur sachchi takleef dete hain. Koi ek khayaal aapke saathi ko sataata reh sakta hai, jo chahte hain ki woh chala jaaye par use hata nahi paate.

Phir aate hain dohraav. Ye dhona ho sakta hai, jaanchna, cheezon ko ek tay kram mein rakhna, ya aapse baar-baar yeh kehelwaana ki sab theek hai. Khayaal koi ichchha nahi hai, aur dohraav dar ki aawaaz hai, aap par koi faisla nahi. Jab aapke saathi jhalla uthein, ya ek aur jawab ke liye minnat karein, to uske neeche dar ho sakta hai. Use dar ki tarah dekhne ki koshish kijiye, zid ki tarah nahi, aur aapke pyaar ki pareeksha ki tarah bhi nahi.

Kabhi-kabhi khayaal daraawne hote hain. Aapke saathi ko dar ho sakta hai ki ve aapko, kisi bachche ko ya maa ya pita ko nuksaan pahuncha sakte hain. Ve kisi aise khayaal se pareshaan reh sakte hain jo paap jaisa ya sharmnaak lagta ho. Is pattern mein aise khayaal aam hain, aur aksar inhein khatre ki nishaani samajh liya jaata hai. Ho sakta hai aapke saathi inse dahal jaate hon, aur inhein zor se kehne mein bahut sharm mehsoos karte hon.

Shak ka rukh aapki or bhi ho sakta hai. "Kya main sach mein usse pyaar karta hoon?" "Kya wahi sahi insaan hai?" "Kya maine galat chuna?" Yeh sunna chaaku jaisa lag sakta hai. Koshish kijiye ki us pal mein ise apni shaadi ke baare mein kisi chhipe sach ki tarah na lein. Kai Bhaarteeya gharon mein faisla jaldi suna diya jaata hai, rishtedaaron ki taraf se ya aapke apne mann se. Woh faisla bhaari hota hai, aur uski koi jaldi nahi. Ek doctor ya therapist aap dono ko yeh samajhne mein madad kar sakte hain ki yeh shak asal mein kya hai.

Yeh loop naram aur nek iraade waala hota hai, aur isiliye ise pehchaanna itna mushkil hai. Aapke saathi poochte hain ki darwaaza band hai ya nahi. Aap kehte hain haan. Ve phir poochte hain, aur aap phir haan kehte hain, thoda zor se. Ek pal ke liye dar tham jaata hai. Phir shak lautta hai, aur poochna phir shuru ho jaata hai. Har jawab pyaar se diya jaata hai, aur phir bhi poochna chalta rehta hai.

Samay ke saath poora ghar dar ke ird-gird jhuk sakta hai. Ho sakta hai aap ghar ke routine badal dein, kapde ek tay tareeqe se dhoyein, ya mehmaanon ko kuch kamron se door rakhein. Ho sakta hai aap rasoi ke aise niyam maanne lagein jin par aap kabhi raazi nahi hue the, ya jaanchne ka kaam unki jagah khud karne lagein. Is jhukaav ko parivaar ka dar ke hisaab se dhal jaana (family accommodation) kehte hain, aur yeh pyaar se aata hai. 41 adhyayanon ko milaakar dekha gaya ki jahaan ghar dar ke hisaab se zyaada dhala tha, wahaan lakshan bhi zyaada gambheer the. Isse ek judaav dikhta hai, yeh nahi ki pehle kaun-sa aata hai.

Loop ko dekh paana pehla qadam hai. Maqsad yeh tay karna nahi ki galti kiski hai. Har qadam apne aap hone jaisa lagne lagta hai, aur isiliye achche iraade hamesha kaafi nahi hote. Aapki samasya pyaar ki nahi hai. Aapki samasya ek pattern hai, aur pattern badal sakte hain.

Aapko koi perfect jawab nahi chahiye. Jab shak zor se bol raha ho, tab shaant aur paas bane rehne ki koshish kijiye, uska jawab phir se diye bina. Ek aur baar tasalli dene ke bajaye, garmjoshi bhara bharosa dijiye. Kuch aisa, "Mujhe pata hai yeh bahut bada lag raha hai. Us sawaal ka jawab ab dobaara nahi, par main yahin tumhaare saath hoon." Aap insaan ka saath de rahe hain, unki jagah shak se nahi lad rahe.

Yeh saath milkar aur dheere-dheere kijiye, kabhi achaanak nahi. Kisi shaant pal mein baat kijiye. Tay kijiye ki kaun-se jawab ya kaun-si jaanch aap sabse pehle kam karenge. Shuru mein aapke saathi zyaada ghabrahat, ya gussa bhi, mehsoos kar sakte hain. Us pal ke liye saath milkar yojna banaaiye, ho sake to kisi therapist ke saath. Garmjoshi ke saath peeche hatna rookhaapan nahi hai. Ilaaj ki guidelines kehti hain ki ilaaj ko parivaar ke logon ki madad karni chahiye, taaki ve narmi se aur sahaare ke saath dohraav se peeche hat sakein. Ek chhote adhyayan mein dekha gaya ki jin jodon mein saathi therapy ke baad bhi ismein khincha hua tha, wahaan therapy ka asar kam raha.

Is therapy ko batana aasaan hai. Ek therapist ke saath, aapke saathi daraane waale khayaalon ka saamna karte hain, aur dohraav na karne par kaam karte hain. Ise ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) kehte hain, yaani dheere-dheere dar ka saamna karna aur majboori waala kaam na karna, aur yeh CBT (soch aur vyavhaar badalne waali therapy) ka hissa hai. Kai adhyayanon mein dekha gaya ki is therapy ne ilaaj ke intezaar mein baithe rehne ya nakli ilaaj ke muqaable kahin zyaada madad ki. Guidelines sujhaati hain ki jo saathi unke saath rehta hai, use ek madadgaar ke taur par shaamil kiya ja sakta hai, jahaan yeh aap dono ko theek lage.

Dar bedroom tak bhi pahunch sakta hai. Keetaanuon ki chinta chhoone ko mushkil bana sakti hai. Rishte ke baare mein shak nazdeeki ko bhaari bana sakte hain. Agar aapke saathi door hatte hain, to ise apne baare mein koi faisla maanne se bachiye. Bedroom ke baahar, narmi se is par baat kijiye. Chhote-chhote qadamon mein chaliye, aur yeh jaaniye ki ismein bhi ek therapist madad kar sakte hain.

Aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi. Aapne ise paida nahi kiya, aap iska ilaaj nahi kar sakte, aur phir bhi aap madad kar sakte hain. Aapka apna aaraam, neend, dost aur kaam swaarth waali faaltu cheezein nahi hain. Yahi cheezein aapko madad kar paane ke kaabil banaaye rakhti hain. Ise chupchaap akele uthaane se bachiye. Pehle apni oxygen bachaakar rakhiye.

Hadein tay karna narmi hai, rookhaapan nahi. Yeh kehna theek hai ki aap unke saath baithenge, par bartan dobaara nahi dhoyenge. Yeh kehna theek hai ki aap teesri baar gas nahi jaanchenge. Apne andar jama hoti naaraazgi, thakaan aur udaasi par nazar rakhiye. 50 parivaarik dekhbhaal karne waalon par hue ek Bhaarteeya adhyayan mein, aadhe se zyaada ne dekhbhaal ka bhaari bojh bataaya.

Kai Bhaarteeya gharon mein sanyukt parivaar bhi ismein khinch jaata hai. Koi saas dhone ke niyamon mein shaamil ho sakti hain, ya chupchaap har chinta ka jawab deti reh sakti hain. Koi aur rishtedaar ise zid keh sakte hain, ya aapko dosh de sakte hain. Aur "log kya kahenge" poori baat ko chhipaane par majboor kar sakta hai.

Jab dohraav praarthana ya shuddhta ke niyamon jaise dikhte hain, to kuch log unki taareef kar sakte hain aur kuch mazaak uda sakte hain. Aastha samasya nahi hai. Yeh pattern kabhi-kabhi dhaarmik roop le sakta hai, aur aastha aur dar ke beech ki rekha dekhna mushkil ho sakta hai. Sawaal yeh hai ki koi reeti sukoon deti hai, ya use dar chala raha hai. Aapke saathi ki sehmati se, ek doctor kisi bharosemand dhaarmik ya samudaay ke aguaa se madad le sakte hain. Aapko har baatcheet jeetni nahi hai. Ek chhoti, tiki hui pankti madad karti hai: "Hum is par saath milkar kaam kar rahe hain, ek doctor ki madad se." Phir parivaar se kahiye ki sab ek hi saajhi yojna par chalein.

Doctor se miliye agar dohraav ki wajah se roz ke kaam bahut der tak khinchne lagein. Tab bhi miliye, agar khayaal aapke saathi ko pareshaan karein, ya dohraav kaam par ya ghar ke logon par asar daalein. Is par bhi nazar rakhiye ki kahin aapke saathi dar ki wajah se der se to nahi pahunchte, thake-haare to nahi rehte, ya ghar mein hi atke to nahi reh jaate. Madad lena haar maanna nahi hai. Ilaaj madad kar sakta hai, aur poochne ke liye aapko kisi sankat ka intezaar nahi karna hai.

Kuch nishaaniyon par aur jaldi madad chahiye. Gehri udaasi, roz ki zindagi se haath kheench lena, sehne ke liye bahut zyaada sharab peena, ya is duniya mein na rehna chaahne ki koi bhi baat, in par nazar rakhiye. Agar aapke saathi apni jaan khatm karne ki baat karein, to ise gambheerta se lijiye aur unse saaf-saaf poochiye. Adhyayanon mein dekha gaya hai ki aatmahatya ke baare mein poochne se aatmahatya ke khayaal nahi badhte. Unke saath rahiye, un cheezon tak pahunch kam kijiye jinse ve khud ko chot pahuncha sakte hain, aur abhi madad lijiye.

Aapke mann mein ek aur sawaal ho sakta hai. Agar ve daraawne khayaal sachche hon, to? Ilaaj ki guidelines un doctoron se, jo aise khayaalon ko lekar pakka na hon, kehti hain ki ve is pattern ke kisi visheshagya se poochein. Aap bhi yahi kar sakte hain. Kisi aise doctor se yeh baat kahiye jo is pattern ko achchi tarah jaante hon. Ve aap dono ko, bina sharm ke, ise samajhne mein madad kar sakte hain.

Aur dawa ka kya? Kuch logon ke liye doctor dawa ka sujhaav de sakte hain, akele ya therapy ke saath. Yeh faisla aapke saathi ek doctor ke saath milkar lete hain, har maamle ko alag se taulkar. Dawa kabhi bhi apne aap shuru ya band karne waali cheez nahi hai. Jab ise band kiya jaata hai, to guidelines salaah deti hain ki khuraak dheere-dheere, kai hafton mein kam ki jaaye.