After a loss

After a loss. This track is for the time after someone has gone. It may have been last week, or years ago. It does not try to make the loss smaller, or say how you should be feeling by now.

One thing before we start. If at any point this gets too much, open your eyes, look around the room, and come back to the day.

Sit or lie down, somewhere you can stay for a few minutes. Eyes closed, or open and resting low.

One slow breath out.

Find where the loss sits in the body today. For many people it is the chest, or the throat, or behind the eyes. Let your attention rest there.

Notice what it is like today. Heavy, or hollow, or sharp, or numb. It may be different from yesterday.

Breathe around it. Not to push it out. Around it, giving it room.

Again, at your own pace.

If the person comes to mind, let them. A face, a voice, a habit of theirs. You do not have to hold the picture, or push it away.

If something you wish you had said, or not said, comes up, let that be here too. Breathe around it, the same way.

Put a hand on the chest, or wherever the feeling sits, if that feels all right.

Say something true, silently. Something like: I miss you. Or: this is hard. Or only their name.

People may have told you how long this should take, or what stage you should be at. There are no stages to get through, and there is no should. Some days are flat, some are sharp, and a good day is not a betrayal.

Stay here a little longer. The hand, the breath, and whatever is here.

Now widen out. Feel the whole body, and its weight on the chair or the bed.

If the eyes were closed, let them open slowly. Look around.

The loss is still here. That is not a failure. You sat with it for a few minutes, and that is enough for today.

If you are in danger or feel you cannot keep yourself safe, call your Weave clinician, or Tele-MANAS on one four four one six, any time.