Surfing an urge

Surfing an urge. This track is for when an urge shows up. The urge to drink, to use, to smoke, to scroll, to eat past the point of hunger, to send the message, to buy the thing, to do the thing you told yourself you would not do today. Whatever yours is, this practice treats it the same way.

Find somewhere you can sit for a few minutes, away from the thing itself if you can. If the bottle, the phone, or the packet is within reach, move it to another room, or move yourself. This is not because you cannot resist it. It is because distance makes the next few minutes easier.

Here is the idea. An urge is like a wave in the sea. It builds, it rises, it crests, and then it falls away. People often believe an urge will keep climbing until they give in. In practice, if you do nothing, it rises, peaks, and comes down on its own, usually within a short while. Each time you let one pass, the next one tends to be a little smaller and a little shorter. This practice is about surfing the wave rather than being knocked over by it.

You are not being told what to do here. Whether you act on the urge is your choice, and it stays your choice. This is simply a way to make that choice with a clearer head, rather than from inside the wave.

So, let's start. Sit comfortably. Eyes open or closed. Take one slow breath out.

Now turn towards the urge instead of away from it. Where do you feel it in the body? Many people find it in the chest, the throat, the stomach, the hands, or the mouth. Find the place where it is strongest.

Describe it to yourself, plainly, the way you would describe the weather. Is it tight or loose? Hot or cool? Still or moving? Does it have an edge, or does it blur into the rest of you? Only the facts. No judgement.

Now rate the strength of the urge, from zero to ten. Zero is nothing. Ten is the strongest it has ever been. Pick a number and remember it.

Breathe. In through the nose, out slowly through the mouth. Let the out-breath be the longer one.

Notice the thoughts that come with the urge. One won't matter. I deserve it. I will start again tomorrow. Everyone else does it. These thoughts are part of the wave. They are the urge speaking in words. You can notice them as thoughts without arguing and without obeying. You could even say, in your head: there is the urge, talking again.

Come back to the body. Has the sensation moved? Changed shape? Got stronger, or weaker? Rate it again, zero to ten.

Keep breathing with the longer out-breath. Stay with the sensation. You are not pushing it down. You are not feeding it. You are watching it.

Urges often have a second rise, sometimes a third. If it climbs again, that does not mean the practice has failed. It means you are on the wave. Keep breathing. Keep watching.

Rate it once more, zero to ten.

Notice whether the number has changed at all. Even one point down is the wave turning. If it has not changed, stay a little longer. Waves take the time they take.

Now, while you are here, with a slightly clearer head, you might ask yourself one question. What do I want for myself today, by tonight? Not forever. Only today. Let the answer come without forcing it.

Whatever you decide to do next, you have already done something useful. You have sat with an urge for several minutes without acting on it straight away. That is a skill, and it gets stronger each time you practise it.

If it helps, when you finish this track, do one small thing with your hands or your feet. Wash a cup. Step outside. Call someone. Move the body into the next ten minutes.

If you are in danger or feel you cannot keep yourself safe, call your Weave clinician, or Tele-MANAS on one four four one six, any time.